All-Star Superman #7 (June 2007)

It's that time again! It's time to join the Man of Steel on his grandest, and possibly his last adventures! Last time, we got a nice little heartwarming tale of Superman getting to see his father, the late Jonathan Kent, for one last time. We also got a tie-to DC One Million, so that was nice for those who have read it. I haven't, but I want to. So, where do we go from here? How about a new take on a classic Superman rogue? Let's look at All-Star Superman #7!

The cover is a Frank Quitely and Jamie Grant piece. I like it. It depicts Superman and Bizarro brawling in the streets of Metropolis. It gives the impression that we are in for a fight, and I am excited for it!

"Being Bizarro"
Writer: Grant Morrison
Penciler: Frank Quitely
Inker: Jamie Grant
Colorist: Jamie Grant
Letterer: Phil Balsman
Editors: Bob Schreck, Brandon Montclare
Executive Editor: Dan Didio

The story begins...somewhere very yellow. Leo Quintum and one of his assistants are looking for a missing Bizarro technician. They're near a micro-singularity. A little too close to one for comfort. They manage to flee, but something managed to follow them. Something alive, and it's growing.

"Alright! About time I got an arm!"

Elsewhere in the cosmos, Superman is dealing with this alien tentacled squid-like creature.

"For the love of GOD, stay far away from Japan!"

This creature is a Sun-Eater, presumably the very same one that we saw Superman feed in issue #2. The little guy is getting a bit big, and he's ready to go out on his own...and potentially go Galactus on some alien race's sun. 

But that aside, Superman finds himself getting attacked by...Clayfaces?

"Wait, I owe you guys money, too?!"

Well, not quite. They're sending Superman towards what looks like another Earth. One that is shaped like a cube.

Over at the Daily Planet, there's a Christmas party going. Jimmy Olsen spots the "Clayfaces" crashing into Metropolis. And then they attack the party, claiming one expendable staffer who talked a lot.

"Bizarro hate you face! Bizarro not take you face!"

The staffer rants that that she is Bizarro and attacks the others, but Steve Lombard sends her out the window like she was Axel Foley after meeting Victor Maitland.

Lombard didn't change when touched, and he's amazed by it. The Daily Planet gang flee to the roof, hoping Superman will come to save them. Over at a library, Bizarro arrives. Superman then arrives and tells the people to get inside. Bizarro blasts at the Man of Tomorrow with his fire breath, but our man responds with a new trick.

Superman showing why he's DC's Most Electrifying Superhero.

Superman notices that this is new. The Bizarros of Htrae ("Earth" backwards, if you don't get the joke) have never been this hostile before. What is going on? Bizarro, in his own way, explains that he wants everyone to become Bizarros like him. Meanwhile, the Daily Planet crew is boarding a futuristic blimp. Superman knocks Bizarro into orbit. Jimmy contacts P.R.O.J.E.C.T. with his signal watch, and Leo Quintum gives some exposition.

What they're dealing with right now is a planet-eater. I wonder if it's related to Galactus?  Anyway, it crudely disguised itself as Earth as a way of appearing less threatening. As for the Bizarros and what happened to that poor Daily Planet employee? Well, that's part of the planet consumption process. There is good news and bad news, though. Good news? They're sickened by sunlight. Bad news? In Metropolis right now, it's 9:30 PM. In December. WHERE ARE THEY GOING TO GET SUNLIGHT?!

Perry White points out to Superman that Steve Lombard is immune to the Bizarro infection. Superman examines him and it's discovered that he takes certain...performance pills. 

Since sunlight weakens them, Jimmy has an idea.

He suggests that a giant space mirror could be used to reflect sunlight to Metropolis. He admits that it's a nutty idea, and in the real world...he would be laughed off the roof. But this is a world homaging Silver/Bronze Age-era Superman, so it'll work here. But where can we get said big mirror from? Why, Htrae, of course!

Bizarro World has big oceans. If Superman could move the planet in the right position, the oceans can be used as a mirror. Supes is going to have to be fast. Bizarro World's presence is also causing further problems. Its position is affecting tides and the weather due to its gravity field. Bizarro World is a basically a big organism. Lois hopes Superman comes back to her, and he assures her he will as soon as he's done on Htrae. He gives her a card that contains an experimental formula for a Bizarro repellent. He gives her a little kiss on the head, wishes her a Merry Christmas, and flies off. 

The Metropolis Marvel heads towards the cubic planet and smashes a large mountain on it. A red light starts to appear over the planet. Olsen explains that Superman hurt it, so it's going back to the Underverse to lick its wounds. Superman tells Bizarro it's over and not to bother Earth again. Bizarro, in his own Bizarro way, says he doesn't want to go back to the Underverse, back into the cold and darkness of it. Superman notices that the gravitational pull of the planet is increasing as Htrae heads back, and the sunlight is turning red. The conditions of this world are becoming...like Krypton. Which means Superman...has lost his powers.

Superman is going to die here, and his world will be left in danger without him. Yeah, Supes, you mentioned Batman in one issue, and I think we can assume that other superheroes do exist here, even if it's only the classic Justice League roster. 

A new voice tells Superman that Bizarro will be no help. But he can, as he is a flaw. He's something that appears in every 5 billion copies of Bizarro. He's unique, self-aware, and suffers in a world that nothing is right to him. He introduces himself as...Zibarro. 

"...I am not cut out for architecture."

I enjoyed this issue, even though it is primarily set-up. It's one of those issues that is best read as part of All-Star Superman as a whole instead of on its own. That's something I have seen plenty of in my experience looking at 12-issue maxi-series like these. That is not a bad thing. This was still a good read. Morrison and Quitely provide a rather interesting, unique, and a terrifying take on the Bizarro concept, a giant organism that basically wants to make everything just like it. And the reveal of Zibarro being a "flawed copy" makes a, well...bizarre bit of sense. If so many copies get made at once, flaws are going to pop up. I also got a good laugh out of how Steve Lombard ended up immune to the Bizarro infection. 

I have talked about Quitely's art in the past, and my views of it. I think his style does work for the Bizarros, though.