It's that time again! It's time to look in on the last days of Superman! Last time, we saw Lois and Clark enjoying a super-date that also saw the Man of Steel engage in an adventure with a pair of mythological powerhouses. So, what happens next? What is the next adventure for the Man of Tomorrow? Let's find out in All-Star Superman #4!
The cover is a Frank Quitely and Jamie Grant piece. It's really cool. It depicts Jimmy Olsen running for his life from what appears to be an evil Superman. The dialogue on the cover is very much a take on classic Silver Age covers. It fits this miniseries perfectly.
"The Superman/Olsen War..."
Writer: Grant Morrison
Penciler: Frank Quitely
Inker: Jamie Grant
Colorist: Jamie Grant
Letterer: Phil Balsman
Editors: Brandon Montclare, Bob Schreck
Executive Editor: Dan DiDio
The story begins with Lucy Lane, Lois Lane's younger sister, reading a newspaper in Jimmy Olsen's apartment. And she basically declares that she is done with Jimmy. He's been declared the "Worst Dressed Man in Metropolis" for the second year in the row. To be fair to the guy, he claims those awards were given to him because of looks that were out of context. After all, he was in Medieval England and competing in the Homeless Olympics those years. Got a bronze and everything.
I hope Jimmy was stripped of that medal. He has a home! WHY WAS HE THERE?! THE IOC IS FRIGGIN' CORRUPT, MAN!
Anyway, Lucy has been asked by the space pilot Rock Hansom (who likely is handsome) to be his plus one for the premiere of Frankenstein on Ice. Yeah, the critics called it "Frankenstinker on Ice". Jimmy wonders why he gets called "Worst Dressed Man".
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This is why people write those fanfics about you and Superman, Jimmy. |
At the Daily Planet, Jimmy gives Perry White a proposal on his next "For a Day" piece. He's going to be the head of P.R.O.J.E.C.T. for a day (This world's version of Project Cadmus. We met them in issue #1). At the project, Leo Quintum introduces Jimmy to the Electrokind.
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Leo Quintum learned the hard way they were trying to mug him. |
The Electrokind are gaseous beings with exoskeletons of glass, found by Superman when their lightship crashed into one of Saturn's rings. They communicate with light, their greetings potentially blinding to a human. They've invited him to visit their homeworld. As such, Quintum lets Jimmy run the place for a day. He's also a fan of Jimmy's columns. With that, Jimmy dons Quintum's colorful coat, and the place is his.
During the tour of the P.R.O.J.E.C.T., Jimmy sees a door marked "Do Not Open Until Doomsday". It contains an experimental stem-cell accelerator that make a soldier into an unstoppable super-soldier, a legacy from P.R.O.J.E.C.T.'s origins as the US Army's Cadmus Division. Remember this room.
He is next taken to a room that is exploring a superheavy gravity well located beneath the structure of the universe as we know it. Gravity is so dense there that time becomes solid. Yeah, imagine being able to hold time in your hand like an ice cube. That's some crazy stuff, man. Morrison have been taking the good drugs when they wrote this.
Anyway, as is typical of a superhero story, a disaster occurs, and Jimmy is left hanging for his life.
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She's called "Queen of the Roma", Jimmy! |
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"This article on the Kitten Bowl is fine work, Clark!" |
Superman hears Jimmy's watch and flies out to help. He's able to save Jimmy and bring up the thing causing the disaster.
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"This had better not be some alien turd." |
It's a piece of Kryptonite that likely ended up buried in the "Underverse" for years. It's caused the typically green or red rock to become black in color. Jimmy is understandably nervous about this. Kryptonite radiation was one of the only things that can kill the Metropolis Marvel. Emphasis on was. Superman also remarks that he can't feel anything from the new Black Kryptonite. As far as they know, it's just an inert oversized pebble now.
Superman carves his symbol into the table with his...finger? heat vision? the art isn't clear. The Man of Tomorrow starts grumbling about Jimmy getting himself into trouble all the time. Jimmy realizes the rock did have an effect: it's made Superman go bad.
And now that he's gone bad, Superman decides that maybe it's time he should wreck stuff and conquer the world. So, he proceeds to go do that.
Superman helped create three defenses against him in case something like this happens. The first was an unseen Kryptonite-based weapon. But that's useless now. The second is a space-based Phantom Zone Cannon. Thing is, if they put Superman in the Zone, he's never getting out. Jimmy points out the third. Remember that door that said "Do Not Open Until Doomsday"? Yup, Chekhov brought out the gun, and now it's getting fired. Superman made his way to Metropolis.
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"BAD SUPERMAN AM GOT LOIS PRETTY NEW CAR." |
Yeah, he's now also starting to talk like Bizarro. Jimmy confronts him. Agatha, Quintum's assistant, warns Jimmy that the Doomsday weapon is too dangerous. It could stop Superman, but it could also destroy Jimmy. He takes the chance, grabs the syringe gun, and injects himself with Doomsday.
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Jimmy Olsen's newest form: Naked Spike Monster. |
Yup, this is the All-Star Superman-verse's version of Doomsday. The two end up brawling, Superman sounding more Bizarro-like in his speech and seemingly growing weaker. The Doomsday-ified Jimmy stalks towards the downed Metropolis Marvel, who is whimpering that he's scared and he can't die. Jimmy's Superman signal watch starts beeping, seemingly knocking some sense into Jimmy as well. He holds the downed Superman as he changed back to human form. Nearby, he sees a pair of men and demands they do not let anyone see Superman in this state.
The two men thank him and Superman for saving them from Doomsday, seemingly unaware that Jimmy was Doomsday. It also turns out that they're the producers of Frankenstein on Ice, and they give the roving reporter two VIP tickets for the show.
Later, Jimmy is recovering. He'll be fine, but he laments he has nothing for his column as he has to keep this madness on the down-low. The Black Kryptonite is safely locked away in a lead-lined box. Jimmy noticed that under the influence of Black K, Superman got weaker the worse he acted. It was like his very power was rebelling against his new darker nature. He was being everything that at his core, Superman is not: a bully and a coward. Either way, Superman is grateful the crisis is over and he appreciates Jimmy's help. Agatha remarks that his little stint as "Director for a Day" cost the PROJECT the whole year's budget. Jimmy doesn't believe that, as being the master hacker he is, he discovered that the amount of money in their Zurich bank account is an infinity symbol.
Jimmy still has ten minutes left as Director of PROJECT, so he has a couple of last requests. Later that night, Jimmy finds Lucy at his apartment. Evidently, she no longer has a date to Frankenstein on Ice. That's because Rock Hansom decided to be a greedy idiot and sell some Martian rocks on eBay.
Luckily, Jimmy still has his tickets, and he has a special message for Lucy on the Moon.
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"You should see what I did to Mars!" |
Don't worry, it's only temporary. The story ends with Lucy telling Jimmy to get over here, because she wants to give him some smooches!
This was a fun comic. I do like this universe's take on Doomsday, and seeing some of the wonders of the PROJECT was really cool. It's clear the PROJECT is just Grant Morrison's imagination letting loose a bit. I would love to see more of the Electrokind. I want to learn more about their culture. The fight between the Black K-affected Superman and Jimmy was really cool. I liked the idea that Superman in this state grew weaker as he got worse, implying the idea that Superman's power is tied to his kind and good nature, a subtle bit of foreshadowing.
I have said this before, and I will say it again about Frank Quitely's art. I don't hate it, but it does have that "uncanny valley" quality that always makes it look very "off" to me. That's really about it.
If you want to read this for yourself, I recommend tracking down the 2011 trade paperback All-Star Superman. Thanks for reading this blog entry! If you liked it, show it off! Take care of yourselves and each other! See you next time!