Captain America and the Falcon #175 (July 1974)

In the 1970s, America was in a bit of upheaval. Particularly, the Watergate scandal, which would lead to the downfall of the presidency of Richard Nixon. As creative types, were wont to do, they drew inspiration from the scandal. Steve Englehart was no different. He was writing Captain America at the time, and as he said himself, he was writing a character who believed in America's ideals when the President was a crook. As such, this story came about. So, let's take a look at the climactic issue of Captain America's original battle with the Secret Empire.

The cover is pretty decent. The top is a bit busy with the masthead that has the title logos and images of the characters. The cover image is really cool, with Cap brawling with Moonstone and Number Two in front of the White House. However, Number Two's helmet doesn't match the actual comic.

"...Before the Dawn!"
Writer: Steve Englehart
Artist: Sal Buscema
Inker: Vince Colletta
Letterer: Artie Simek
Colorist: Petra Goldberg
Editor: Roy Thomas

The issue begins with Number One, the head of the Empire, gloating over the supposedly dead Captain America, Falcon, and the X-Men's Professor X, Cyclops, and Marvel Girl.

Yeah, during the storyline, the Secret Empire kidnapped a whole bunch of mutants, and Cap teamed up with the still-free X-Men members to rescue them.

Also, during that time, the X-Men actually didn't have their own book. Their book had been cancelled, and they were reduced to guest stars in other books. Yup, there was a time in the MU when the X-Men didn't hog all the spotlight and have nearly ten books focused on teams and solo members. Number One's cronies take their bodies and unceremoniously dump them in a basement.

However, Cap wakes up, and sees two of Number One's said cronies. He leaps up to throw some American punches, but they stop him, explaining they're friends. They unmask to prove it.

It's Gabe Jones and Peggy Carter! The former Howling Commando and resistance fighter have infiltrated the Secret Empire for SHIELD to gather info so they can be brought down. Jones tricked Number One by setting the gun so it would stun Cap and his allies.

Jones explains that the Secret Empire, much like Advanced Idea Mechanics, were one part of HYDRA, but they decided to pull a WWWF on the National Wrestling Alliance (Pro wrestling historians will get that joke), and go solo and do their own thing. Jones then recounts their battles with the Hulk (Tales to Astonish #81-82), and Namor (Tales to Astonish #83-84), which led to the original Number One blowing himself up. With that, and Gabe Jones's efforts, the Secret Empire collapsed.

However, the Empire pulled a Force Awakens and made a comeback under a brand new Number One. As such, SHIELD asked Gabe Jones to reinfiltrate them. Gabe was able to worm his way deep enough he was able to bring in Peggy Carter as backup.

They have to move, as the Empire now has the Electro-Gyro, a gadget that would allow the Empire to achieve its goal. Elsewhere, the Empire are placing a disk with captive mutants attached to it on to a saucer craft.

The Electro-Gyro has been installed, allowing the Empire to steer the craft. So what are the mutants for? Well, they're the batteries for the saucer. According to Number Three, the saucer will be powered by "X-Waves", energies mined from the mutants' brains by special machines. Huh. So, evidently, according to this comic, mutants' brains can generate a special energy.

That's...kinda weird. Thing is, the human body does use electrical signals to make the muscles work and do things, including making the heart beat. Is that what the basis for this here? That for mutants, this "Bioelectricity" is somehow different? This is a headscratching thing right here. The Secret Empire's nameless...or should I say, numberless mooks, board the craft and take off, ready to use it to conquer the USA.

In Washington DC, the Lloyd Bloch Moonstone and Quentin Harderman, the man who used his advertising skills to turn people against Captain America (long story), watch the saucer land, gloating over how no one can stop them now.

The press and the military gather around the saucer, prepared to cover the story and defend the nation. The saucer's door opens.

Credit where credit is due, Number One knows what he wants. The Army says "nuts" to his demand for surrender, and fire on the saucer. Their weapons have no effect, thanks to the saucer's powerful forcefield, again somehow generated by mutants. Moonstone then flies in, and puts on the whole "No one is mightier than America and I will stop you" act. The saucer sends out Number Two, a costumed warrior in a big metal helmet.

I wonder how he moves his head in that helmet. The Empire's act continues, with Number Two claiming that his helmet gives him the same powers his ship does, and Moonstone's all "Bring it on, mothertrucker!" The two fight, and Number Two seemingly defeats Moonstone and frog-marches him into the ship. Inside, the two chuckle about their deception. Moonstone leaves the ship, saying that they cannot beat the invaders, and America must surrender to the Secret Empire. Number One re-emerges, announcing that atomic devices are being placed in various places across the country, and if the nation does not surrender in a half-hour, they will be detonated.

Inside the ship, some subterfuge is going down. Gabe Jones and Peggy Carter open a hatch, revealing Captain America, Falcon, Cyclops, and Jean Grey. Evidently, the SHIELD agents managed to somehow sneak the superheroes on board. One question I have is...where's Charles Xavier? Did they just leave him behind? The heroes sneak their way to the saucer's control room. and they charge in.

They make quick work of the guards, and shut down the saucer. Intereestingly, Cyclops remarks that Xavier couldn't join the fight. Where did he go, then? Is he back at the Secret Empire's base? The heroes couldn't have taken him home, they didn't have the time. Anyway, with the saucer disabled, the two X-Men can now rescue the other mutants. Cap tells Falcon to go with them and help them clean out the place and find out where the atomic devices are, while he heads outside.

Number One is unaware of what's going on, as he is gloating. He gets ambushed by Captain America. Falcon and the X-Men leave the saucer, having found the devices' locations. Moonstone runs his mouth, and Cap gives him an EPIC TACKLE.

The two fight, while the narration talks about how Cap defeats Moonstone because the Sentinel of Liberty has more determination and spirit. However, I also like to think that Captain America is helped by the fact that he is a trained hand-to-hand combatant with a nearly indestructible shield. Moonstone may have superpowers, but that doesn't mean he has the best training in how to use them wisely in combat.

Anyway, Cap hands Moonstone a can of American whupping. Quentin Harderman tries to throw Moonstone under the bus, claiming the superhuman duped him. However, Moonstone is all like, "Oh, no! I am not going down alone for this, man!", basically saying Harderman not just was in on it, but was the mastermind. Because the media cameras are still there, they pick up Moonstone's confession, exposing the entire scheme to discredit Cap and conquer America.

Number One attempts to make his escape, but Cap spots him and gives chase. He pursues the mysterious mastermind into the White House. You'd think the Secret Service would be trying to stop Number One from trying to get into the White House considering that's where the President lives and works. Maybe considering the original plan for this story...

Cap manages to catch Number One in the Oval Office, and rip off his hood.

Yeah, Number One was intended to be President Nixon. I am not kidding. This story was inspired by Watergate, so appropriately, the President in the Marvel Universe would end up being a sort of  supervillain, the head of a conspiracy to conquer a country. According to Englehart himself, he made the choice to deliberately keep vague the identity of Number One because he was uncertain if Marvel would let him do it.

Interestingly, Cap from around this point in time would be one of the characters in Avengers Forever, and Wasp remarked that it was some nameless high government official in this story.

Back to his, Number One states that the power in his position was not enough for him, and he wanted more. Much more. Thus, the official gambled on the Secret Empire to cause a coup to get the power he craved. Since the gamble failed, he's going to cash in his chips.

With a bullet. Cap then dejectedly walks out of the White House. He's in a funk. He knew his country had faults and flaws, but he always believed that in the end, people in the government worked to make things better. Yeah, sure. Dirty tricks and corrupt politicians didn't exist in the 1940s. Sure.

This issue was...pretty decent to pretty good. It does continue a tradition Cap does in his stories, and that's reflect the times they were printed in. Only appropriate that Cap tell a story inspired by the biggest American political scandal of the 1970s. The dialogue can be a bit...hammy at times, but it comes with the territory of comics made in this time. Cap's disillusionment is a bit...sudden, though. However, it works for the story. Sal Buscema puts in some really good art. Some of the panels have a bit of a Jack Kirby vibe to them, which is really neat.

Next time, we return to Earth-712, where we continue our look at the downfall of the Squadron Supreme...

Blade Runner 2049 Full Trailer, My Thoughts

Hey there, folks! Blade Runner 2049 is getting ready to hit theaters! Back in January, I gave my thoughts on the teaser, now there's a full trailer! Let's take a look!

The trailer begins with a flying car streaking past a building. Heh heh, Atari. Yup, Atari is still a big game company in the Blade Runner universe. I wonder what their latest console is in this world? The Atari 200000? Or the Atari Ocelot?

We see Agent K (Ryan Gosling) aiming his gun at something, and what appears to be Harrison Ford's Rick Deckard about to punch someone. I'm guessing someone called him Han Solo again.

Ooh, giant holographic lady. I wonder if she knows Lyla from Spider-Man 2099. You know, that would make a great crossover. I want to see Agent K and Rick Deckard meet Miguel O'Hara. How can we make this happen?

All this was just before the trailer actually started. Okay.

The trailer really begins with a shot of the famous Tyrell Corporation building. You know, since Roy Batty killed Tyrell, I wonder what happened to his company. Did he have any relatives? Was there plans in place in case he died?

Heh heh, Atari.

We see K and a woman walking in what I think may be the Tyrell building, the walls lined with blank mannequins in clear display cases. Are these what replicants look like before they are made to look like humans? And I still can't get over that Ryan Gosling's character is named "K".

We then hear Jared Leto talking about how every civilization was built on the back of a disposable workforce. Nice to see Leto still is getting work after Suicide Squad. Based on those things on his eyes, I think his character may be blind. Anyway, his character remarks he can only make so many. I'm guessing his character is the replicant maker. Which makes me wonder if he may be connected to the late Tyrell. Maybe a relative?

We see a woman saying that "they" keep order. I think she may be K's boss.

I wonder who is that girl K is hugging?

I don't know why, but I just think it's awesome seeing K and Deckard speaking to each other.

We then hear Jared Leto saying that some key to the future has been found. I wonder what that could mean?

We see some action shots and...hey, Dave Bautista! He's everywhere these days. The way in this movie, I can't help but think that he's going to yell at someone to get off his lawn. Or literally throw someone off it.

A woman then tells K he is special. Okay...

The final shot is of K standing over a book with some pages torn out. The expression on his face is really weird, it's like he's both happy and sad at the same time.

This was an interesting trailer. I have seen the original Blade Runner, so I'll give this a try. Sounds like it'll be an interesting film.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day, everyone!

I hope all have the mothers out have a wonderful day today! On this day, we celebrate mothers and motherhood. Created by Anna Jarvis to honor her mother's work for public health issues in the early 20th century, it became a national holiday in 1914. It's celebrated around the world, and more can be found about the holiday here.

So, give your mother a hug and tell her you love her today. It's her day.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Review

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is at it again! Its fifteenth film (Yes, you read right, 15. This thing is well on its way to having as many films as the James Bond franchise) is out in theaters, the second adventure of their cosmic protectors: The Guardians of the Galaxy! Vol. 2 is here!

It's been a couple of months since the events of the first film, in which the Guardians of the Galaxy saved the universe from Ronan and his Infinity Stone. Since then, the Guardians have become heroes for hire, helping anyone out who could pay them.

They were hired by the Sovereign to protect a set of batteries, but things go wrong. As a result, the Sovereign wants the Guardians' heads, and they end up in a new adventure where they meet Star-Lord's father: Ego the Living Planet.

I absolutely love the first Guardians film, and I was so excited to see this one. It was quite simply...awesome. This film was a worthy follow-up to the original. It had a ton of action, funny jokes, and moments that brought tears to the eyes. I have no real complaints about it, although I do want to warn that some of the jokes here in this one are a bit on the raunchier side than in the original film. Just a warning, no spoilers.

Also, there was a post-credit scene that made me smile, and will make you smile as well if you're a fan of the original 1960s-1990s-era Guardians team.

If you like adventure with classic tunes that'll make you laugh and bring tears to your eyes, this film is the thing for you. If you liked the original, you'll love the sequel.

Green Lantern #172 (January 1984)

Green Lantern. The Emerald Knight. The Super-Cop of the Spaceways. Since 1940, evil has had to recoil in fear of the Lantern's jade light of justice. Over the past nearly 80 years, Green Lantern, in its various incarnations, has thrilled fans of the DC Universe. From the original Green Lantern (Alan Scott) fighting crime in the 1940s with a mystical ring, to the test pilot Hal Jordan being given a ring as part of his induction into a corps of space policemen, to said Corps finding more members in John Stewart and Guy Gardner, to Kyle Rayner keeping the light going as the Last GL, to the additions of Simon Baz and Jessica Cruz, Green Lantern has been one of DC's greatest superheroes.

This issue will focus on the Green Lantern of the Silver Age, and one of my personal favorite holders of the Green Lantern mantle: Hal Jordan. When it comes to Green Lantern, I have to thank one man for making me a fan of the character: Geoff Johns. Johns and Ethan Van Sciver's mini-series Green Lantern: Rebirth made me a fan of the character. So I thought it would be nice to review and old-school comic featuring Hal Jordan. I took out my copy of the trade paperback Green Lantern: Sector 2814 Vol. 1, and here we are!

The cover is really well-done. Hal Jordan is shown front and center, facing the Guardians of the Universe, and other Green Lantern Corps members in the back. Hal himself looks like he's pleading. It fits, considering the contents of the main story. There's an audience of GL Corps members behind Hal, but their position is covered up somewhat by the title logo. I do like that Hal is front and center. After all, his is the star of the book.

"Judgment Day"
Writer: Len Wein
Penciller: Dave Gibbons
Inker: Dave Gibbons
Colorist: Anthony Tollin
Editor: Len Wein
Editor-In-Chief: Dick Giordano

The issue begins with the Hal Jordan Green Lantern flying through space.

Hal is heading to Oa. He's been exiled out into space for a year, away from his native Earth. I'm not sure of the circumstances of this exile, but I'm guessing the Guardians had something to do with it. He had spent a year out in space, and is eager to go home. He also has something on his mind.

However, Hal is so lost in thought that he misses a meteor storm heading towards an inhabited planet. Hal considers letting the storm heading towards it, figuring that the atmosphere would burn the rocks up before they could do any real harm. He ends up changing his mind anyway, and flying towards the storm. Good idea, Hal. There's no guarantee that the atmosphere would burn up the rocks, considering they may be big enough to do some really bad damage anyway.

Hal weaves through the meteor storm and uses a construct of a pool cue to knock the meteors into each other, and finishes them off with some energy blasts from his power ring.

Making things out of light is definitely cool to see. It was one of the best parts of the old Superfriends cartoons. Hal then arrives on Oa, the home of the Guardians of the Universe, Hal's bosses. Hal has a bit of nerves about what he wants to do next, but the other Green Lantern Corps are there to greet him.

His fellow GLs, including Katma Tui, Arisia, and Tomar Re, tell him since they're Hal's friends, they won't let him go through his issue with the Giuardians alone. Salakk grumbles that he is there to see that "Justice is served". Is Salakk a Scourge? However, Arkkis Chummuck basically tells Salakk to shut up. Another Lantern, Eddore (Yeah, Arisia and Eddore are nods to E.E. Smith's Lensman series), reassures Hal that things will go well for him here.

The Guardians arrive, and wish to hear Hal's petition. Hal basically tells them that well, he wants to go home. He's been out in space for a year, and he's homesick. He misses his family and friends on Earth. The Guardians are disappointed, and they explain they exiled Hal because they felt he put too much emphasis on Earth, and didn't concentrate on protecting his entire sector.

Hal counters that he has no intention of abandoning his sector, but he can serve it from Earth just fine. Just call him when there's an emergency. Hal feels it's cruel for him to be kept away from his friends and family. Salakk mocks this, saying this is proof that Hal isn't dedicated to his Corps duties. Unfortunately, Arkkis Chummuck doesn't rip out his tongue. Hal continues on, saying that his friends and family make him the man he is.

Among the characters I can recognize are Tom Kalmaku, Carol Ferris, the Barry Allen Flash, the Oliver Queen Green Arrow, and John Stewart. The Guardians ask if Hal would be willing to resign from the Corps for them. Yeah, the Guardians being jerks is nothing new. It was emphasized in Geoff Johns's GL work, but it's clearly something that's been a thing with the Guardians of the Universe for a very long time.

Hal responds that in the past, he would have resigned. Now, however, he has no desire to. He wants to be a GL, but he has needs of his own. He needs his family. He needs his friends. To the immortal Guardians, a year is merely an insignificant span of time between heartbeats. For a human, though, it's a long time.

The Guardians are uncertain about this, but Hal pleads with them. Just because the Guardians gave up their humanity, doesn't mean they have any right to force Hal to give up his. The Guardians then relent, agreeing to let Hal go back to Earth. The test pilot is overjoyed, and the other GLs (except for Salakk), erupt into a jubilant cheer. Hal goes to recharge his ring in a giant Green Lantern battery, and heads for home. Before he leaves, he promises Arisia that they'll meet again.

A while later, Hal arrives on the big blue globe he calls home. He then briefly thinks about his friend Dorine, whose people he helped colonize a world the villain Evil Star devastated in Green Lantern #159-161. He thinks of his lady love Carol Ferris, the head of Ferris Aircraft, and occasional Star Sapphire. When he's about to land, however, he gets a bit of a surprise.

Yup, Carol is smooching with another dude. Hal takes it well.

It's really not surprising, Hal. You were gone for a year. Did you even talk to Carol during that time?! You ring allows you to do a lot of stuff, you couldn't give Carol some regular calls?! Seriously! I'm really starting to understand the reputation Hal has for being an idiot.

Anyway, Hal is frustrated, and is looking to take it out on someone. His ring tells him of a robbery in progress, and Hal pities the robbers. In a supermarket, a group of men are holding up the store. One of the hostages, an old man, tries to get the robbers to listen to the cops and let them go. They're not hearing it.

Funny enough, the robber's name is Spyke Nayle. Yeah. Spyke Nayle. This guy's going to stick around and become a supervillain, isn't he? With a name like Spyke Nayle, that's going to happen. Green Lantern appears and asks them to surrender. Nayle basically says, "Screw you, I have hostages". Hal just smirks and remarks that he sees no hostages, as he used his ring to teleport them out. The robbers are furious and start firing on GL, but he creates some hand constructs to pluck the bullets out of the air.

Nayle mocks this, saying that Hal Jordan isn't very tough without his ring. Hal just smirks.

Hal Jordan loves a good brawl, and he'll take an opportunity to get one in. He makes short work of the robbers, and drags out Nayle in a green mousetrap construct. One of the cops thanks him, saying he's glad the Emerald Gladiator is back. Hal tells him he may not stick around for very long, so he should not get used to it.

He returns to Ferris to pack up his stuff. He plans to leave town, figuring that Carol's moved on, and he would only add on to the grief he's given her over the years. Carol finds him, and she asks why Hal didn't come see her when he returned to Earth. Hal explains that he flew in on her little moment with another guy.

Carol explains that it was actually Clay Kendall, a new hire at Ferris. She was congratulating him for getting a new research grant. Kind of an odd way to celebrate, but okay. She really loves Hal, and she would've waited forever for him. Aww. She does admonish Hal for not thinking. Yeah, I do like Hal, but he can be a bit of a dope.

She then welcomes him home, and they kiss in front of a Green Lantern logo. Because comics.

This was an...okay story. It's not the best GL story, but I don't think it's really that terrible, either. Hal just comes home and fights some generic robbers, which got a little chuckle thanks to one having a funny name. It is nice to see that Carol is aware of Hal being a Green Lantern, which I'm sure would make his life a little easier in some way. The art is pretty good, too. This is Gibbons pre-Watchmen, so it's interesting to see where he was before he got that assignment.

The story is a bit short, though. However, I don't think that's the comic's fault. I think there was some pages dedicated to a back-up story, but the trade I got the scans for this doesn't have it. A real shame. I'd have loved to read it. I would only pick this up if you can find it dirt cheap, you're a big fan of Hal's classic GL days, or it's part of a trade.

Next time, we go from the star-spanning GL to something more earth-bound, as we join Captain America as he battles the Secret Empire...

Defenders Trailer, My Thoughts

It's finally here! It's finally here! We're getting a trailer for the big event all of the Marvel Netflix series have been building to: The Defenders! Here it is!

The trailer begins with Jessica Jones handcuffed in a police station's interrogation room. She appears to be shackled to a table. This is a bit odd, as Jessica has superhuman strength. Couldn't she easily break the cuffs? I don't see anything that indicates that they were designed especially to restrain her.

We hear a voice, which belongs to Misty Knight. I really have to make an effort to watch Luke Cage sometime. Basically, Jessica messed up. According to Knight, Jessica contaminated a crime scene by stealing some evidence, wrecked an investigation, and got a lead killed. Jones explains she was trying to help the lead, but Knight is having none of it. I think this may be the series in which Misty loses her arm.

However, Jessica is told not to say anything more by her new attorney: Mr. Matthew Murdock, everybody! Jessica's face is great here. "What? I didn't hire no lawyer!" Even better, Matt briefly seems to grin before the Netflix and Marvel logos pop up. It's almost like he's saying, "Yup. It's happening."

We next see Luke Cage hanging out in Harlem...I really got to watch his series some time. Rosario Dawson's Claire Temple asks him how being Harlem's hero allows him to have anything remotely resembling a life, but Cage isn't worried about that. He's just concentrating on helping people right now. Claire's voice over goes over Iron Fist, hinting she wants to introduce him to Luke.

Fist sees a man and chases after him, but is stopped by Luke Cage. They ask who each other is. Iron Fist uses Kung Fu! It is not very effective! Luke Cage uses Mighty Blow. It is super effective! Iron Fist fainted!

Fist's voice asks how Luke can't be hurt. Cage asks about Rand's fist over a shot of him preparing the Iron Fist. And then we see Rand smash Cage's jaw with the Iron Fist! In a really cool detail, the shot of Rand's fist hitting Cage's jaw mirrors the shot of a punk attempting to punch Cage in the face from the Luke Cage trailer.

Another funny moment here, Rand introduces himself as "The Immortal Iron Fist", and Cage is like "Whut?!" before Claire tells them they are on the same side.

Next, there's a voice over of Stick talking about the four future Defenders. The shot of Jessica makes me think she's not used to light in general. He then gives descriptions of the four: Matt is the Devil of Hell's Kitchen (Nice shot of the costume in the box), Jessica is the smartmouthed detective, Luke is the righteous ex-con (I chuckled at the bit with Luke breaking the cuffs. His bad), Danny is the kid with the glowing fist.

Next, there appears to be a coffin...with a dead Elektra inside. Well, coming back to life is her things in the comics, I'm guessing she'll make a comeback here. Stick's voice-over mentions that the "War for New York" is here. Stick mentioned this in the second season of Daredevil, so I'm guessing we'll see that plot come to fruition here.

And we get this awesome shot of Sigourney Weaver, who will play the main villain of Defenders. From what I understand, her character's name is "Alexandra". My guess is that since the Hand may be involved here, she may be something...more than human. My guess? She's The Beast, from Elektra: Assassin. Would make sense.

The shot of the four Defenders at the table together is neat. Then there's lots of fighting, including Elektra attacking Daredevil. Nice bit of snark from Daredevil towards Jessica, and the four Defenders fighting together.

The final shot of Danny with the other Defenders is great.

This was an awesome trailer! I can't wait for the miniseries to start! It's going to be awesome!

The Mighty Thor #362 (December 1985)

Thor. The God of Thunder. The Avengers are often referred to as "Earth's Mightiest Heroes", and Thor on his own could certainly live up to that boast. He's also become a bit of a movie star in recent years, thanks to the Marvel Cinematic universe. And since his third cinematic adventure, Thor: Ragnarok, will be hitting theaters in a few months, I thought it would be nice to review an old-school Thor comic!

However, I wonder which one to review, until remembering the Thor: Ragnarok trailer hit me with some inspiration. We do see a brief glimpse of Karl Urban as Skurge wielding machine guns, and I thought, hey, why not cover the issue that gave Skurge a moment of awesome? So, I whipped out my copy of Thor Visionaries: Walter Simonson Vol. 3, and decided to cover Skurge's last stand. Pour yourself a flagon of mead, everyone! Get your swords, shields, and horned helmets! Prepare your best battle cry! We're going to Hel!

The cover is really awesome! Thor is riding into battle, on his godly chariot, driven by his goats, Toothgnasher and Toothgrinder. One may notice that Thor's mouth is covered by his cape. Don't worry, there is an explanation for it. Behind him are the charging Einherjar, the Heroes of Valhalla. And looming over them is Skurge firing a pair of M-16s. It's an awesome cover, which gives a really good idea of what you'll get in the issue.

"Like a Bat Out of Hel!"
Writer: Walter Simonson
Artist: Walter Simonson
Letterer: John Workman, Jr.
Colors: Max Scheele
Editor: Ralph Macchio
Editor-In-Chief: Jim Shooter

The issue begins with Thor and his war party, in their trip through Hel, encountering a large ship.

Thor explains that the ship is called Naglfar. It was said that the ship has been building since the dawn of time, made from the fingernails of dead men. Must've been a LOT of dead people in Hel for it to get that many fingernails. Do you know how tiny fingernails are?! Look at the size of that ship! Anyway, Thor explains that when the ship is finished, the dead will sail her to Asgard to destroy the gods. Yeah, this ship would cause the Norse version of a zombie apocalypse. I'm not sure if it's part of Ragnarok, but I'm thinking that it might be.

Balder hopes they never have to see that ship again, but Thor reminds him that they have the mortal spirits that they came to rescue from Hel. You see, in previous issues, some mortals' souls ended up in Hel. They weren't supposed to go there, but Hela, being a jerk, said "Nope, I am keeping them." In response, Thor decided to get a bunch of his allies (and Skurge came along), and invade Hel to get them out.

You are probably wondering why Thor's face was covered by his cape. In the previous issue, he fought Hela herself, and she gave him a taste of her Hand of Glory. The Hand of Glory was essentially her giving Thor a magically-charged smack in the mouth that wrecked his face. Back to the comic, Balder explains they are not much further until they are away from Hel. All they have to do is cross the bridge called Gjallerbru.

Balder says that he doesn't trust Hela, doubting she would let the leave Hel so easily, especially since they came to get some souls she wanted to keep with her. He asks how Thor is doing, since his face got wrecked.

O hai Magma! Yup, we get a glimpse of the New Mutants' resident volcano queen. I think that at the time Thor was raising Hell in Hel, the New Mutants were getting up to some shenanigans in Asgard. Anyway, Thor remarks that his face hurts, but as long as he can free the mortals from Hel, the pain is worth it.

Hela makes her appearance, and Thor demands to know what she is up to. Hela then reminds him that essentially, he forgot Skurge. Skurge the Executioner had come with Thor to Hel, but ran off. And the Enchantress is with him.

...No, not that one.

Yeah, that one! Seriously, both Marvel and DC have a character called "Enchantress", and they're both fond of the color green. That is weird.

Another thing that's weird? Neither Amora nor Balder have ever appeared in the MCU yet. Seriously. They're two of the most major character in Thor's mythos. Amora's sister Lorelei appeared in Agents of SHIELD, but there was not even a hint of Amora. Since the sisters don't really get along very well in the comics, one could assume that maybe Lorelei just didn't mention her because she hates her. Still, a mention of Amora at least may be nice. Maybe we'll get a hint of her in Thor: Ragnarok, since Skurge will appear.

Thor remembers that Amora the Enchantress has always had a hold on Skurge's heart, and Skurge tells him he will defend her against the nine worlds if he has to. Balder reminds Skurge that they're in Hela's domain, and things are never what they seem here. Amora tells Skurge that Balder's just running his mouth. Skurge is not so sure, as Balder is not known for being a liar. So, Skurge decides to check by using his axe's ability to cut through illusions. I can think of a few detectives who could use that axe.

It's actually Mordonna! Mordonna is a sorceress and shapeshifter who Hela used to impersonate Amora, because Hela's a troll, I guess. Skurge is rather unhappy with being deceived, and decides to so a little science experiment. What would happen if his axe met Mordonna's head? Mrdonna screams that she didn't betray the Asgardians. Fortunately for Mordonna's head, Hela whisks her out of danger. Skurge pleads for forgiveness, saying he had no idea that this was happening.

Hela explains why she pulled this trick on Skurge. When the time is right, Skurge will captain the Naglfar, leading the dead of Hel against Asgard. Skurge is none too fond of the idea. And considering he's already mad at Hela and Mordonna over their little trick, Skurge expresses his thoughts on captaining the ship. He tosses his axe, using its powers to cleave dimensions to unleash the energies that bind the nine worlds together. The energy-charged axe flies towards the Naglfar, and...

The fingernail ship goes up in an explosion. Millenia of work, up in smoke. Hela takes it well. So well in fact, she arranges for Thor to meet an energy blast. Balder's able to block it with his sword, but he ends up de-horsed and with a numbed arm. Agnar, his squire of sorts, rushes over to protect him. Balder has been a guide to Thor through Hel, and Hela decides to kill him first, so Thor and his party will never be able to leave. However, Hela ends up with a faceful of Mjolnir thanks to Thor, and the party flee.

The monsters and misfits of Hel rise to stop the party, but the heroes of Einherjar are ready for them. They form a line, and...

...open fire on them. Yup. Thor's party got prepared by bringing some mortal weapons with them, mainly some M-16s. Vikings using machine guns. I love comics.

The M-16s are a help, allowing the party to run through Hela's monsters and creatures like a hot knife through butter. Hela then summons the dead to fight for her. Yup, she's bringing out the zombie Vikings. They form a line, and Thor urges the men on, and decides to do something freaking awesome.

Thor and his chariot leap into the fray, Toothgnasher and Toothgrinder smashing foes underneath their thunderous hooves, Thor's hammer sending lighting into the enemies' hearts, and the Einherjar feeding them sword steel and bullets.

The group reach the Helway, the way out of Hel. All they have to do is pass the bridge Gjallerbru. The bridge is guarded by Modgud, who welcomes new arrivals, and ensures no one escapes Hel. She has never left her post.

Until now. First time for everything. She can handle crazy Vikings, but crazy Vikings with guns? Yeah, Hela does not pay her enough to deal with that. The party reaches the foot of the bridge. Problem is, they aren't going to be able to get over the bridge before getting overtaken by Hela's army of the dead. Thor entrusts Balder to get the mortal souls out, while he holds the army off at the bridge. Thor figures that his hammer may allow him to escape to the other worlds thanks to its ability to cross dimensions. However, someone complicates things.

Skurge knocks Thor out, and the party is furious. He begs Balder to hear him out. Skurge explains that people have laughed at him. Enchantress, despite his love for her, only ever used him as her muscle. Mordonna and Hela tried to trick him. In essence, he's had enough. He's been laughed at his whole life, and it's had an effect on him. He does feel a little bit expendable, so he agrees to take Thor's place. He'll hold the bridge.

Balder and the party leave him some ammo and a couple extra rifles. He asks Balder to apologize to Thor for him and for them to have a drink in his honor. Hel's army marches over the distance, and Skurge readies his guns. When they're in range, he opens fire.

Skurge fights valiantly, laughing and taunting the demons. Come and get it, army of Hel! Christmas has come early, and Santa Skurge got hot lead for everybody! It's Skurge's Last Stand, and in a way, his last laugh. Skurge, in his final act, is getting to stick it to Hela and Amora, everyone who has ever mocked and laughed at him.

Despite his efforts, Skurge is eventually overrun and killed. However, according to the narration, Skurge won Hela's respect. Yup, his final act actually makes Hela bow her head in respect. That is awesome. Skurge got some respect after all. You know how awesome this page is? If you look closely, one can see that Simonson gave it his dinosaur-shaped John Hancock.

The party rolls on, and Thor is made aware of Skurge's sacrifice. The group presses on, and encounters Garm, a big brown wolf. Thor walks through him.

He knocks Garm out, and figures that he won't be any further threat for a while, considering he's all chained up. With the final obstacle overcome, the party makes it out of Hel. Thor prepares to return to Midgard to bring the mortal souls home. The Einherjar return to Asgard, but warn Thor to hurry back, as Loki is up to his old tricks. Balder decides to return to the Norns' realm, as he promised Karnilla that he'd return to her there if he survived this adventure.

Balder has a moment where he laments his encounter with his former love Nanna in the previous issue, and wonders if he is cursed to doom everyone he loves. Thor tells Agnar to keep an eye on Balder, and be a friend to him as he could use one. He also hopes Karnilla will help Balder through his funk. The issue then ends on Thor taking the mortal souls home, ruminating on recent events. The book then promises that next issue, Thor will battle Kurse as part of a tie-in to Secret Wars II.

This comic...is AWESOME. Skurge was one of Thor's original villains, and his last stand is amazing to read. Simonson's art is a bit unusual in style, but I have no issues with it. It's nice to look at. Next time, we give the Distinguished Competition some love, as we take a look at an adventure of the Green Lantern...