Justice League #221 (December 1983)

Hey there! It's time for Classic Comic Showcase, where we look at a classic comic, and determine whether it should be considered a classic or rusty. I know I have to finish my review of the Falcon mini-series with issue 4, but I got a couple of old comics, and I thought it would be fun to review one of them. One of them is Justice League #221.

I mainly bought this for the cover. The cover appealed to me because I like cats. The cover shows a catgirl doing a slightly off Vampirella cosplay standing over the defeated Justice League, and I think she just ripped Firestorm's throat open. Gruesome. One detail I think is really neat is that whereas we see slash marks and costume rips on Hawkman, Firestorm, and Flash, Superman's is undamaged. Nice attention to detail there, as during the Silver and Bronze Ages, Superman's costume was as invulnerable as he was.

It does lead to one question, though. Considering how powerful Superman was during this era (He was capable of juggling planets during this time), how did the catgirl beat him? Did her powers come from magic? They had to, as I see no Kryptonite on her. Ah well, let's get to the comic itself.

"Beasts"
Writer: Gerry Conway
Artists: Chuck Patton and Pablo Marcos
Letterer: John Constanza
Colorist: Gene D'Angelo
Editor: Len Wein

Before I begin, I just want to apologize for the quality of the scans. These scans will come from a comic that is over 30 years old, and I am scanning these on an iPad.

The comic begins with a bunch of rich people arriving at a building that looks like a rejected design for Avengers Mansion.

"Earth's Mightiest Heroes missed out on THIS building!"

They are all wearing domino masks in an attempt to hide their identities. Keep in mind, this is the DC Universe, domino masks are VERY effective in hiding secret identities there. The comic focuses on two particular rich people, a man and a woman.

"Darling, you make that mask look better than Hal Jordan ever could."

The people head towards what looks like...a modern-day gladiator arena.

"If Russell Crowe shows up screaming about entertainment, this'll be SO worth it."

We don't actually see anything, but it's pretty clear that the ancient Roman sport of gladiator combat is alive and well here. The woman is REALLY getting into it.

"I'll have what she's having."

By the way, putting the title of the story in the program is a great little touch. I love that.

We then switch to a scene of Superman and Wonder Woman in Metropolis taking on a group of computer chip thieves who stole 40 million dollars worth of computer chips. Keep in mid, this was 1983. Computer chips were a BIG DEAL. Superman and Wonder Woman work together to catch the criminals, capsizing their boat and lassoing them. When they're in the water, Superman notices it's cold and heats it up for them.

"I love having heat vision."

They catch the thieves, only for one to reveal that they have help. BIG help.

"HERE I AM! ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE!"

Gargantus the Talking Whale Monster whacks Superman out of the water, and the smacks away Wonder Woman. Because he can. Gargantus helps the thieves escape while Supes rescues Wondy from drowning. However, the thieves get away empty-handed. Superman reveals he had the computer chips, which he found in the wreckage of the boat. You'd think since Gargantus has knocked out two of the most powerful members of the Justice League, the thieves would've taken the chance to make sure they had the merchandise before leaving. Huh.

Anyway, the scene shifts to Central City, where the Barry Allen Flash is racing to deal with a bank robbery. Flash arrives on the scene and easily deals with the bank robbers...who happen to look like they couldn't decide whether to cosplay as Green Lantern or a 1950s space rangers, so they decided to merge it together.

"Punch for you...punch for you...kick for you, I take your gun..."

However, there is a surprise waiting for the Scarlet Speedster in the truck. A monster that looks like Rocksteady's cousin bursts out and gores the Flash. And since this is 1983, Joey Styles isn't available to scream about it.

"GORE! GORE! GORE! OH MY GOD!"

Rocksteady's Cousin smashes Flash through a wall (That has to hurt), and the robbers get away. One thing makes me wonder...how did Rocksteady's Cousin get in the truck? Was he in there the whole time? Did something go wrong in the robbery?

The scene changes to San Francisco, where Ralph Dibny, the Elongated Man, the Ductile Detective, is observing a stereotypical Chinese laundromat, smelling a mystery. Turns out the man who runs the place is a fence, who is buying some stolen pearls to resell. Ralph makes the bust, but the laundromat owner sics birds on him. To Ralph's horror, the birds have human eyes, which he is somehow is able to figure out.

The birds knock him into a clothing press, and the owner slams it on him, complete with cheesy pun about presses.

"I can only be cleaned with hot water! HOT WATER ONLY!"

In New York City, a woman is breaking into a building by using a fingernail to cut a hole in the window. Unknown to her, she is being observed by Firestorm. He decides to check it out, figuring it would be fun. For some reason, he doesn't surmise it may just be Catwoman. I thought in the Bronze Age, Batman actually talked shop with other heroes! Shows what I know, I guess.

He flies in, and is shocked to find that the one who is breaking in is a cat woman, alright. An actual cat woman.

"Oh my God!" "I couldn't decide whether to cosplay as Pantha of Vampirella, so I combined them!"

The cat woman says her name is Reena, and she tosses a computer at him. Professor Stein advises Firestorm to knock her out with a nuclear blast. Yeah, blast the cat woman with nuclear radiation, that always works. However, she's an agile one, and manages to dodge his attacks. She kicks him in the mouth, screaming that she won't let Firestorm destroy her or bring her back to someone named Rex. Of course, Firestorm has no idea who she is talking about. In a nice little nod to Firestorm's own series, Professor Stein compares Reena to the Hyena, a Firestorm villain who was a were-hyena, but unlike the Hyena, Reena retains her intelligence and can speak.

Stein advises Firestorm to use his head, so Firestorm turns a chair into a giant pincer and uses it to catch Reena. Reena is a determined one, though, and tries to escape. Firestorm struggles with her, Reena saying she would rather die than return to Rex, and Firestorm trying to tell her he has no idea who "Rex" is.

The fight is heard by a pair of security guards. The guards see Firestorm and Reena smash each other through the door. One of the guards, being an idiot, tries to fire at Reena and Firestorm.

"Aw yeah, time for gunplay! EAT LEAD!"

This part bothers me a bit. The Justice League in universe are very famous. Everyone knows who they are. I think at the time of this comic, Firestorm was a new member of the group, but you'd think that with a team as well known as the Justice League, a new member joining would be a BIG deal. Which shows this guard is an idiot. TV existed in 1983, Firestorm would've been all over it thanks to his being a Justice Leaguer.

This convinces Reena somehow that Firestorm can be trusted, so she helps him flee. Firestorm goes after her, saying she is not getting away. She surrenders to him, saying if he protects her, she'll tell him about Rex and why she's scared of going back to this person.

Firestorm takes her to the Watchtower, figuring the League can help Reena with her problem.

"And we're talking, we're talking..."

One bit I love here is the little continuity nod. Superman mentions Batman quitting the JLA to form the Outsiders. I love little nods like that, as it gives the feeling that the books are interconnected and events have an impact. It's one reason why I do not like the whole "do what you want" approach to continuity the "DCYou" thing was doing.

Zatanna reminds us of Flash and Elongated Man's earlier issues, and shows they are in the hospital. She and Aquaman spot Firestorm and Reena.

"Uh, Ronnie? Your new friend is looking at me funny..." "Mmm, fish man..."

Firestorm realizes she's a bit skittish being in this strange place and surrounded by strangers. Superman reassures her the League will hear her out. This is classic Superman, friendly and willing to hear someone out. Hawkgirl worries about Hawkman, her husband. What is Hawkman up to? Well, he's working on an archeological dig in Luxor, Egypt. He is working with an archeological dig with a college class, and they found some new relics.

Carter and the teacher spot a helicopter, and it attacks the dig. The helicopter also has backup: Scorpion Men!

The sequel to THEM! did not quite live up to the hype.

arter throws on his Hawkman gear, which was made easier as he was already not wearing a shirt. Hawkman goes Thanagarian on the thieves' butts, and throws a titanium-wire bola at the helicopter's rotors...somehow causing the copter to crash. The Scorpion Men are about to attack some students, but Hawkman manages to save them. One of the Scorpion Men remarks about their leader being named Maximus Rex, which gets Hawkman confused, and causes him to get stung in the back by one of the Scorpion Men.

At this moment, Carter Hall really regretted not listening to Shayera about him wearing a shirt.

In another unknown location, a geeky-looking man wearing one of the thieves' uniforms and looking like Jasper Sitwell's goofy cousin is reporting that Reena has escaped. The person he is reporting to, Lion-O's evil uncle, is enraged and vows revenge on Reena and anyone who helps her.

"We will get our revenge! Now get me my scratching post!"

Next issue promises us that we will hear of Reena's Tale!

This comic does have some strengths. The story manages to give spotlight to several Leaguers and it does set up rather well just how dangerous these monster-men are. The art is really good. It's not great, but it's still competently done and it does its job. The art was credited to two artists, but I didn't notice any major difference in the styles. The story moves along at a good pace, and it was a fun read.

If you are looking for a comic to read to kill some time, and you can find it cheap, pick this up.