Rampage Trailer, My Thoughts

Coming soon to theaters is a new film based on a classic arcade game. That's right, the rompin' stompin' building-smashin' people-eating Rampage is coming to the big screen. And here's the trailer!

The trailer begins with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as Davis Okoye, a primatologist, talking about George, a silverback gorilla. The two are old friends, Okoye rescuing him from certain death as a baby. Aww.

Okoye notices that George has gotten...bigger. He was seven feet tall, but after being exposed to a strange mist, he's now about nine feet. I'm thinking that mist was a steroid of some kind. It's not quite like the game. You see, in the original arcade game, George was a human who was transformed into essentially King Kong.

George has gotten bigger, and he's developed quite a temper.

Hey, everybody! It's Jeffrey Dean Morgan! I liked him in Watchmen. And there's now a giant wolf. Here comes Ralph! Yeah, in the game, the giant werewolf is called Ralph. Because shut up, Ralph will eat you.

Ralph is chasing after Joe Manganiello. Somebody stuck a steak in his pants again. Ralph hates helicopters. No one knows why, they just make him really angry. Maybe it's the rotors. Always spinning around like they own the place.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan is going to get wrecked by George. The dumb ones always do get wrecked in movies like those.

GEORGE IS LOOSE, AND HE IS MAD! SOMEBODY GET BANANAS AND MARIO.

Heh heh, the Rock needed a moment to remember how to fly a helicopter.

George doing a pretty good King Kong impression. Or Mighty Joe Young, whichever your preference.

I love how everyone is worried about George getting put down, but not Ralph. No one cares about Ralph, they happily will try to blow him up. Poor Ralph. Can't he have a human friend, too?

Silly George, buildings aren't for eating.

And we get an appearance from Lizzie! Hey there, Lizzie! How ya doing?

I have to admit, I had heard they were making this a long time ago, and I didn't really think much of it. After all, Hollywood will try to make a film out of anything. When it comes to this film, well...I don't expect it to be regarded as one of the best films of 2018. But I can imagine will end up being one of those fun entertaining popcorn films, and isn't that really why we watch movies? To have fun and be entertained for a couple of hours? I think Rampage will end up doing that. It'll be entertaining. I hope it's a fun movie, because it does look like it will be that.