COPS #5 (December 1988)

In 1988, Hasbro produced a line of toys known as COPS 'n' C.R.O.O.K.S. Think GI Joe with a police theme. In the same year, the toy line would get an animated series based on it, much like many toy lines did in the 1980s. The cartoon was produced by DIC Entertainment, and distributed by the now-defunct Claster Television.

The toys and cartoon told the tale of an elite team of police specialists (led by Charles "Bullet-Proof" Vess) who protected the fictional Empire City from the criminal forces of Brandon "Big Boss" Babel.

The animated series lasted about a year, and produced 65 episodes. In 1993, it would be rebroadcast on CBS as CyberCOPS. This was due to the primetime reality show Cops debuting in 1989. Fun fact, the lead character designer for the cartoon was Peter Chung, who also designed characters for the 1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon, and would go on to create Aeon Flux.

The series also spawned a comic book tie-in from DC Comics. This tie-in would last for 15 issues. One of these issues is what we're going to look at here. So, let's take a look at COPS #5!

The cover is really good. It's a Pat Broderick and Pablo Marcos piece. We have a crying Bowser holding his robot dog Blitz. Standing behind him are his fellow specialists Highway, Sundown, and Longarm behind him, all mourning. It's rather remisicient of the cover of Crisis on Infinite Earths #7 (October 1985). It does a great job delivering what we're likely getting in this issue: An exploration of the relationship between Bowser and Blitz, and its impact on the team.

"A Bowser and His Blitz"
Writer: Doug Moench
Artist: Pat Broderick
Inker: Joe Rubinstein
Colorist: Gene D'Angelo
Letterer: John Costanza
Editor: Andrew Helfer

The story begins at nighttime in Empire City. Bowser and Blitz are driving on patrol. Bowser teases Blitz about sitting in the front seat with him instead of the cage, like regulations require. The K-9 officer is hoping tonight will be a peaceful night. However, it is not meant to be. A nearby jewelry store gets its window smashed in with a flail, and the owner of the flail starts helping themselves to some jewelry.

Bowser starts to reminisce about a dog he owned as a boy, when a call about the robbery comes in. The two race to the jewelry store. The perp isn't there, so Bowser has Blitz pick up the scent. The robotic dog is able to find the trail? And who is the jewelry thief?

"Aw crud! I found the stove was still on in that pace and forgot to turn it off!"

Rock Krusher, one of Big Boss's regular goons. He realizes the COPS are after him, so he heads to a building to make his stand. Bowser and Blitz pursue Rock Krusher to his improvised warehouse. Bowser orders Blitz to stay at the main entrance. He wants that area covered in case Rock Krusher tries to flee in that direction. Bowser himself will be coming in from the back. Blitz, however, is not in the mood to be obedient. The robot dog leaps into the warehouse.

Bowser makes his way to the back door when he hears Blitz's recording of the Miranda warning. He realizes the dog has disobeyed him and went in. Blitz managed to corner Rock Krusher. Krusher is in disbelief about this. He pulls off one of the spikes on his flail's head, the ticking from it indicating that it was a grenade. The crook tosses the grenade flail at Blitz as Bowser bursts in. The explosive flail hits Blitz, with the expected results.

And Bowser just sent the last payment in!

Time skips by. The head of the COPS, one Charles "Bulletproof" Vess (Get it?) is addressing his teammates. He's briefing them on the situation, and it's not good. Rock Krusher's exploding flail did a ton of damage to Blitz. The techs are working on the robotic dog, but it's unlikely that they'll be able to successfully repair the robot.

The members of the COPS recall some memories of the robotic dog. Highway once raced Blitz, but they had to cancel due to it becoming a traffic problem. Sundown was able to find his lucky horseshoe thanks to Blitz. Bullseye tells a tale of Blitz saving his life. The dog sniffed out a fault in his flying machine called the Air-Raid. If he didn't...Bullseye would have died by exploding aircraft. Mainframe, the cyber-crime expert of the group, theorizes that the experimental cybernetics in Blitz, combined with the time he spent with Bowser, may have caused the dog to become practically alive.

In the repair room, the techs are looking over the damage to Blitz, and Bowser is watching in fear and concern.

"Please pull through, buddy..."

Bowser pleads for Blitz to pull through. It makes him think back on the time they spent together.

Harlan Ellison would be proud...or likely sue.

Bowser walks off, and finds Mainframe at her computer, naturally. He asks her if the techs have made any progress, but she tells him no. She asks him if he'd like to talk about it. To Bowser's credit, he agrees. Good for him, talking about it can help. Bowser was not always the elite K-9 officer he was now. Once, he was a boy named Rex Pointer, and he had a dog named Max. Max was an adopted stray. The dog was more than a dog to the redheaded boy. He was a true companion and Bowser's best friend. They even celebrated 13th birthdays together.

Max would wait for him to come home from school. He would protect the young Bowser from threats, and comfort him if he was down. It's like the two shared a mind. But the good times would not last forever. Max was getting old. He stopped eating. He drank much more water than usual, and needed to go out all the time. He would no longer wait for Bowser and jump and play.

Young Bowser was heartbroken and frustrated. He couldn't help his best friend. Max started to have trouble breathing. A visit to the vet revealed the old dog was quite sick...and there was only one way to end Max's pain: to be put to sleep. Max would be buried in the family backyard.

Bowser could never bring himself to adopt another dog since...until he was partnered with Blitz.

He figured that things would be alright with Blitz. After all, Blitz was a robotic dog. He couldn't get old or sick like Max did. The story managed to bring Mainframe to tears. Bowser tells her another COPS member called Bullseye wants to see her at the helipad. There's a computer fault there. She asks Bowser to watch her terminal for her. The K-9 officer uses her terminal to look over the results of Blitz's examination.

There were fragments of a material called silesium. A large quantity of the stuff was bought by a man named Dr. Percy Kranial. It makes Bowser remember that the substance was connected to a robot robbery that led to the formation of COPS in the first place. Vess had suspected that Kranial was in the pocket of Big Boss, but could never prove it...not yet anyway. Bowser decides to find Dr. Kranial, as this has become personal.

Who is Dr. Kranial, anyway? Well, he has another name he's fond of going by: Doctor Badvibes. kind of unsurprising, considering his name is "Kranial".

"...what's with the glass jar on your head?" "I WAS DRUNK!"

In case you are wondering, yes. That is his brain in a glass jar on his head. Keep in mind, he's a MAD scientist. Why he did this to himself only makes sense to him. Also, gypsum bubblegum can't taste good, considering gypsum is...a common mineral. He's making a new flail for Rock Krusher. And like the old one, it can explode by pulling a special marked spike. Bowser bursts in, and he and Krusher brawl.

I have this mental image of Doctor Badvibes running around trying to save his equipment (and avoiding a wild blow shattering his glass dome head) while screaming at Bowser and Rock Krusher to not fight in his lab as the two big lugs are breaking things that are expensive and delicate. It is hilarious. The K-9 officer and criminal fight all over the lab, breaking all of Doctor Badvibes's fancy equipment.

Meanwhile, the techs managed to achieve what could be considered a miracle. They managed to put Blitz back together. Ted's love of putting together puzzles finally was useful. Blitz then seemingly wakes up.

"Bacon! I SMELL BACON!"

Rock Krusher manages to trap Bowser under a heavy shelf. Blitz leaps off the table lab, like he senses Bowser is in danger. However, the techs didn't install his power pack, so he won't get very far. Highway spots the robot dog running off. The techs implore Highway to catch him, as they think Blitz is malfunctioning.

Meanwhile, at Doc Badvibes' lab, Rock Krusher is about to finish off Bowser. However, despite his being pinned by the shelf, Bowser is able to catch Krusher's flail. The two are at a standoff. Bowser found the special spike that'll trigger the flail's explosive. Doctor Badvibes decides that now would be a good time for a tactical retreat. Krusher believes Bowser doesn't have the guts to pull the spike. After all, it'd kill him. But Bowser just may be willing to die if it means bringing Krusher down. As long as he can avenge Blitz.

Meanwhile, Blitz is desperately racing to the lab. The robot dog is packing a lot of speed, like it's desperate to get to Bowser. Despite Blitz having very little power, it's still going. It's like it's going on raw determination. In the lab, Krusher releases the flail, saying that he believes Bowser won't pull that spike.

Right now, Rock Krusher REALLY wished that flail was full of bubblegum.

But Bowser just did pull that spike. Both he and Rock Krusher have eight seconds to live. And Blitz bursts in.

"Hey, Blitz!" "OH YEAH!"

The robot dog knocks out Krusher. Despite Bowser's pleas for Blitz to run, the dog digs up the explosive flail and sends it flying across the room. The dog uses its metallic body to shield the K-9 officer from the explosion. Blitz is physically undamaged, but the lack of power finally catches up with the dog, and he collapses. However, before the dog completely powers down, Highway and the tech arrive. The technician has a nice present for Blitz: A shiny new power pack, filled with all the juice he needs, and then some.

The story ends with Highway and the tech helping Bowser out of his little jam. Bowser happily hugs Blitz, while calling him "Max", which understandably confuses Highway and the tech. But Mainframe would know.

This comic...is really good. It's big strength is that it's essentially a character study. We get to learn a bit of Bowser's childhood, and it shows that Bowser was still affected by the loss of Max all those years ago. I'm sure anyone who has owned a pet, especially one that has been around a long time, can understand what the future COPS member went through when Max had to be put to sleep. It's heartbreaking, as a pet becomes a member of the family. It's also surprisingly dark. I mean, Bowser was willing to blow himself up to try and stop Rock Krusher. Me thinks that Bulletproof should consider hiring a counselor for the COPS. You know, therapy may help Bowser a bit.

Another thing I liked about the issue was the scene where the other COPS talk about their own encounters and misadventures with Blitz after Bulletproof reports the dogbot may not make it. It really gives the impression that Blitz was more than just some tool that the COPS used to fight crime. Blitz was a member of the team. He was as valued as any of the human members of the group. It's sad, but also rather heartwarming.

Broderick does not try to imitate the cartoon show's art style, which is rather unusual for animated series tie-in comics. I don't blame him, really. The show's style was rather...unique. His art is very expressive, though. So, maybe doing his own style was the better move.

I think this is a great comic. It gives spotlight to a member of the COPS team, we get to learn some of their past, and you can't help but feel for Bowser when you learn why he values Blitz so much. All cartoon tie-in comics should be like this. It makes you care about the characters, and shows they'r more than just talking toy advertisements.

This comic has not been reprinted in trade as far as I know, so you'll have to scour the back issue bins for it. Thanks for reading this blog entry! If you liked it, spread it around! And if you want to give this blog some additional support, please drop a tip in my Digital Tip Jar! It would be greatly appreciated! Next time, we witness the beginning of a new era for the King of the Seas, as Peter David launches a new Aquaman book...