Wonder Woman #212 (July 1974)

Over the past couple of years, I've spent a month every year looking back on a twelve-issue miniseries. For this year, I decided to so something a little different. What I'm going to dive into this year is not really a mini-series. It's twelve issues of Wonder Woman's series that are dealing with a particular theme: Wonder Woman making like Hercules and undergoing her own Twelve Labors to prove herself worthy of rejoining the Justice League.

It's kind of appropriate that Wonder Woman pay homage to mythology. After all, the Amazing Amazon and Greek mythology have gone hand in hand since the character first appeared way back in 1941. During the Silver Age, when the character's ties to Greek myth were increased, Diana had been described during the Silver Age as being "beautiful as Aphrodite, wise as Athena, stronger then Hercules, and swifter than Hermes". The Silver Age was also a time of great upheaval for the Amazon. In an attempt to shake up the character, a storyline was conceived in which the Amazons would go to another dimension to "recharge their magic", but Wonder Woman would stay behind, losing her powers.

For some years afterwards, Wonder Woman would continue adventuring as a white-suited martial artist/mod boutique owner, in the vein of Emma Peel. This change was received with criticism, but Wonder Woman eventually did get her powers back. The 12 Labors deals with a newly-repowered Wonder Woman showcasing her worthiness to rejoin the League. Unfortunately, I have not really been able to find any information about how this storyline came to be. A shame really, as I would have loved to have learned what inspired it. Ah, well. Let's take a look at Wonder Woman #212!

The cover is rather amusing. A Bob Oksner piece, it has the vibe of a romance comic cover from the 1950s. You have Superman pleading with Wonder Woman to return to the League. Wonder Woman tells him she cannot. The way they're posed does look like a pair of star-crossed lovers. Batman, Flash (Barry Allen) and Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) are also on the cover, and their poses are amusing. They look so confused, like they have no idea what in the name of Rao is going on. On the bottom, Superman promises to tell the strangest Wonder Woman story ever. He's not kidding. Admittedly, I'm not the biggest fan of Wonder Woman's masthead logo here. It looks a bit plain to me.

"The Man Who Mastered Women!"
Writer: Len Wein
Penciler: Curt Swan
Inker: Tex Blaisdell
Colorist: Unknown
Letterer: Unknown
Editor: Julius Schwartz

The story begins at the Justice League Satellite, orbiting 22,300 miles above the Earth. Superman has announced that the task he was assigned is done, and he's out of the Justice League because of this. With that, he slams down a file folder filled with pictures of Wonder Woman.

Batman tells Superman that he's overreacting, and this needs to be done. Blast it, Bats. Can't your lazy Bat-Butt perv on Wondy yourself? But in all seriousness, the Dark Knight asks for the Man of Steel's report. And with that, Superman tells his story. In his civilian identity of Clark Kent, he was reporting live from the United Nations, covering an address by Indira Gamal, Prime Minister of a nation called Pamanisia.

"I'm Clark Kent reporting live from YES I HAVE PANTS ON!"

I know what you're thinking. "What is that thing on his head?" and "Why is Clark Kent a television reporter? Doesn't he work for a newspaper?" Well, at the time in the Superman comics, Galaxy Communications bought out the Daily Planet, and Clark Kent ended up working as a TV anchor. A group of men parachute down. They are gunmen out to assassinate the Prime Minister. Clark is unable to do much as he's on camera, and at gunpoint. Luckily, Wonder Woman is in town, and she's able to easily dispatch the gunmen...well, almost.

One of them tries to shoot the Amazing Amazon in the back. Remember, Diana is not bulletproof, hence the bracelets. Before Wondy gets a bullet in the back, Morgan Tracy (The UN's security chief) is able to tackle the gunman to the ground. Tracy rips off the mask of the gunman to realize...

"My God! It's Mrs. Richards!"

It's a gunwoman. In fact, all the masked assassins are women, which shocks the two. ...why? Women can be assassins. However, the Star-Spangled Amazon has other business, so figuring out the motive of these women is going to have to be on Tracy. Gamal's address proceeds without further incident. When the cops arrive to arraign the women, one of them grabs a gun and tries to shoot Tracy. Wonder Woman is there in her civilian identity as Diana Prince, and she's able to take the woman down with a couple of judo chops.

Tracy introduces himself to Diana, but she tells him they meet briefly back in Wonder Woman #205 (April 1973). He offers her a job at the UN Crisis Bureau. After all, Diana can speak every language and she's clearly quite a fighter. She would only be an asset to the Bureau. Diana tells him she'll consider it. She then meets up with Clark Kent. He asks her when she got her powers back. You see, in Wonder Woman #179 (December 1968), Wonder Woman lost her powers when she declined to join the other Amazons in their journey to another dimension. This led to, as I said earlier, the controversial "Mod Era" in which Wonder Woman fought crime as a white-clad martial artist inspired by Emma Peel.

The thing is, the Amazing Amazon...doesn't remember any of this. Clark points out she quit the Justice League because of her power loss. She also does not remember quitting the League, but noted that it does explain why she never got any summons to help the League out with cases. He asks her to meet him at the League's headquarters. He'll meet her there. And with that, Diana Prince exchanges her 70s power suit and glasses for the Amazon bustier of Wonder Woman.

...where does her 70s power suit go?

Superman heads to the Justice League Satellite, the Flash (Barry Allen at the time) reports that Wonder Woman never showed up. It's not like her to just not show up...unless she's not aware that the satellite is the League's current HQ! he heads to the remains of the JLA's old mountain headquarters. Diana is afraid. Why can't she remember months of her life? What is going on?

Superman takes her to the JLA satellite, where the League try to piece together how and why Wondy lost the last several months of memory. She can't remember her "mod period", her martial arts training with her mentor I-Ching, even her beloved Steve Trevor. She wants some answers. Superman tells her they can help her if she rejoins the Justice League. However, she fears her memory loss may make her unreliable.

However, she has an idea to prove her worthiness. She'll rejoin the League if she succeeds in twelve labors, a la Hercules and his twelve labors. And those twelve labors will be her next twelve adventures. The League will monitor her adventures, and if she completes them to their satisfaction, she'll rejoin the JLA. The League agrees, and with that, Wonder Woman heads out. She's got an appointment. The League have one final task: Who is going to monitor Wondy first? Flash nominates Superman to do it, as he brought Diana's plight to their attention in the first place. Meanwhile, Wonder Woman arrives at her home of Paradise Island, and meets up with her mother Queen Hippolyta.

Diana wants to know one thing: Why did Hippolyta play havoc with her memory? Wait, how does Diana know Hippolyta messed with her memory? Well, the Amazons have the tech to cause selective amnesia in people. That does not necessarily mean that Hippolyta messed with Diana's mind. For all we know, it may have been a rogue Amazon. Hippolyta takes her to the Hall of Science. She shows Diana the Memory Chair.

"I got it at a yard sale on Apokolips. It was dirt cheap! Paid for itself!"

They were able to use the chair to restore Diana's full memory of her time in Man's World. The reason why they omitted her "Emma Peel era" memories was because they had incomplete records of that time in her life. Remember, Diana had stayed behind when the Amazons left for another dimension. Diana is furious about this as she needed those memories. She wants to now what happened to her beloved Steve Trevor. Hippolyta then gives Diana another bit of sad news: Steve Trevor is dead. There was a Steve she knew for several weeks before this comic, but he was a simulacrum designed to keep Diana's head straight. Wow.

Yeah. I honestly wonder sometimes what drugs these creators ingested. Anyway, after some tears are shed for her lost love, Diana heads back home and decides that she needs a distraction. Hey, that Tracy guy offered Diana a job at the U.N.'s Crisis Bureau, didn't he? That could be just the thing the Amazon needs. She calls him, but learns that he's entertaining Indira Gamal at The Casbah. The Casbah is a new nightclub in the West Side of New York City.

Unfortunately, it's not inspired by the Clash song. Although to be fair, this is 1974, and the song wouldn't come about until 1982. Instead, the Casbah is given the stereotypical "Arabian Nights" theme. Gamal wanted to eat here because she heard a lot of good things about the place. A man claiming to be the owner of the restaurant asks how they like the service. Gamal praises it, and the trap is sprung. The seats become a slide, and the two guests are sent to a hidden lair under the restaurant.

Diana heads towards the Casbah, her thoughts indicating that she feels a strange desire to go there. Like she is drawn to the club. Despite this, she senses something is preventing her from going inside. This gets the Amazing Amazon's suspicions up, so she changes into her Wonder Woman togs. Meanwhile, underneath the Casbah, Tracy finds himself tied up. Now he knows what's like to be Wonder Woman in the Golden Age.

He demands for himself and Gamal to be released immediately. After all, she's a head of state. Whoever is doing this is risking an international incident here. So, who is crazy and/or stupid enough to do this?

"Nobody expects the Musketeer Inquisition!"

Meet Mortimer Drake, the Cavalier! The Cavalier is a rather obscure Batman villain, first appearing in Detective Comics #81 (November 1943). Created by writer Don Cameron and artist Bob Kane, the Cavalier's gimmick is that he basically dresses up as a Musketeer and commits crimes. And swordfights Batman. It is interesting to see him face a different superhero.

Tracy's being alive is a bit of a problem for the Cavalier. You see, he was supposed to die trying to stop Gamal's assassination. Now he has to kill him here and convince Gamal (who is lying in some strange stasis chamber) that the US was responsible for the assassination attempt. Wait, what?! Despite the sheer ludicrousness of this plan, the Cavalier is sure he can pull this off. How? Well, he claims to have a..."way with women".

Like me, Tracy is confused by this. What is in it for the Cavalier? Well, simple. You see, if he controls Gamal, he can control her country...which can be a step towards world domination. ...Morty, maybe you just stick to swordfighting with Batman. Thankfully, Wonder Woman bursts in. Cavalier sends his henchwomen to take her down. However, they're human women with machine guns, and Wonder Woman is an Amazon, so you can guess how that fight went.

After easily dispatching the henchwomen, Wondy tries to get her hands on the Cavalier. However, the swordsman's presence seems to have caused her to waver. It's like his mere presence is able to make Wonder Woman seemingly fall in love with him. Unbeknownst to either of them, Superman is watching this from the skies with his telescopic vision. He's ready to dive down and give Diana a hand, but it's not needed. Diana, using some Green Lantern-worthy willpower is able to resist the swordsman's charms and gives him a Mighty Backhand.

The Cavalier is understandably shocked. No woman has ever resisted his chemically-advanced charms before! Well, Diana of Themyscira is no ordinary woman, Morty. He fires a bolt of lightning from his sword at her, admitting he was hoping that Diana Prince would have came as well (He had Tracy's phone bugged).

Wonder Woman's lasso is able to cut the Cavalier's sword to pieces. He whips his hat at her, the hat firing some sharp plumes at her. Wondy takes her tiara and tosses it like a boomerang, destroying the projectiles. The Cavalier then whips out his snuffbox. Wonder Woman than suddenly develops super-breath and blows the contents of the box back at him. The dust in the snuffbox covers the villainous Musketeer-wannabe, leaving him in a coughing fit. Before Wondy can capture him, the Cavalier's female servants suddenly rush the man and start beating him senseless.

Wonder Woman wanted to stop the Cavalier, but she did not want him dead. She lassoes him and the women and commands them to fall asleep. Tracy is understandably confused by this. Wonder Woman theorizes that the Cavalier's snuff somehow countered the chemical he used to make himself hyper-attractive to women.

And that's the story Superman recounts to the League. Wonder Woman had completed her first of her 12 labors, her test of self. There's just one thing left to do next. Who is going to observe and report on Wonder Woman's next labor? Well, since Flash volunteered the Man of Steel to watch over the Amazing Amazon, it's only fair that the Scarlet Speedster be the observer for the next mission.

"Flash, I choose you! Use Quick Attack!"

This was...not a great start to Wonder Woman's 12 labors. It felt like a first draft that never really got any proper editing. The whole thing with Diana mysteriously forgetting months of her life would have made for an interesting mystery over the course of the 12 labors, but it feels like it just got tossed aside. Not to mention it makes Hippolyta look like a jackwagon. One thing I did like about this story was Wonder Woman fighting the Cavalier. It's really cool seeing superheroes occasionally fight villains that are not part of their usual rogues' gallery. It helps sell the idea of an interconnected universe...even though the Cavalier's scheme is pretty stupid.

Also, I have to say I like the art. It's a pretty comic. Curt Swan is mainly known for his work on Superman. From the 1950s to the mid-1980s, Swan pretty much was the man who drew Superman in the comics. He also drew the very first meeting between Batman and Superman in Superman #76 (May-June 1952). As such, it's really cool to see him draw another one of DC's most iconic and oldest characters. Superman guest-starred in this issue, so no wonder he got the art duties. He really does give Diana the beauty of Aphrodite, I tell you what. He also makes characters expressive, especially Diana herself. I love Swan's art here.

Honestly, this is one story I think is only really good for the artwork. The writing itself is not that great. If you really want to read this for yourself, I would recommend tracking down the 2012 trade paperback Wonder Woman: The Twelve Labors. Thanks for reading this blog entry! If you liked it, spread it around! See you next time, where in honor of their upcoming cinematic debut, we'll take a look at the beginnings of the next generation of genetic heroes: The New Mutants...