Text Play: Pokemon Zeta #7

Hello, and welcome back to the Vesryn region! And this is my seventh entry in my Text Play of Pokémon Zeta!

As always, I will warn you, I will be spoiling this game. If you want to play it for yourself, you can download it at the game's wiki here. And with that out of the way, let's rock!

Welcome to Agassiz Town, the desert oasis town! Like the part of Route 308.5 that leads to it, the town is obscured by a sandstorm. It's led to something minor about this place that does annoy me a bit. You see, every time you leave a building here, you have to put back on your Go-Goggles. I think the idea is that it's supposed to be a bit more realistic. When you go into a building to shelter from a storm, the storm doesn't magically go away. I do get it, it's just a bit annoying.

Naturally, I went over to the Pokémon Center to rest up my Pokémon. There's a man there who is called the Custom Move Tutor. He can teach your Pokémon what's called the Custom Move, which has 70 base power, 100% accurate, and has 15 power points (The Pokémon can use it 15 times before you have to use an item or the Pokémon Center to restore them), and it can poison Pokémon. It's basically a physical-type version of the move called Hidden Power. Players can customize the move's type. It can be Fire, it can be Water, Rock, Grass, any type you want...except Fairy for some reason.

Nearby the town, in the northeast, there's an area in which you can access a Secret Base!

The man there is fleeing a Dunsparce infestation. He gives me TM43: Secret Power. This move allows us to enter Secret Bases from various places all over Vesryn. Let's go inside!

True to the man's statement, there are wild Dunsparce roaming around. There's also a computer to check your Pokémon collection and a healing fountain. The man there allows you to purchase various upgrades for your Base. There are a variety of upgrades, including item shops and Trainers to help you level up your Pokémon.

One of the houses in town has a child inside who wants to trade her Surskit for a Sandshrew. Surkits are evidently rare to get around here (makes sense, it's a water-skimming Pokémon and we're in a desert), but she wanted a Sandshrew. It's not hard to see why. There are catchable wild Sandshrew all over the place. Makes sense she'd see them everywhere and end up wanting one. I mean, Sandshrew are pretty cute.

You know what I always found funny? Sandshrew are referred to a Mouse Pokémon, but their desert habitats and ability to curl up into balls, not to mention their general look, makes them resemble armadillos more than mice.

You know, the kid didn't want a Surskit. The parents talked about how hard it was to get that Surskit for the kid, even though she wanted a Sandshrew. Just get her the Sandshrew! There's a bunch of them wandering around the town! It's not like they're hard to find. Well, I'll take it off her hands. I caught one of the wild Sandshrew in the town and traded it for her Surskit. Nearby the town's Poké Mart is a house where you can get TM21: Frustration.

Frustration is a Pokémon technique that is very powerful if the Pokémon that uses it is not very close to you. What I mean by that is that the Pokémon is one that you have not had spent much time with and have not really built a bond with them. You build bonds with your Pokémon by traveling and winning battles with them.  I don't really see the point of this move. Isn't friendship one of the themes of the Pokémon franchise? You know, building bonds and caring about others? Why would there be a move based on how emotionally distant you and a Pokémon are? Return is a move that makes sense, as it fits the theme of friendship, but Frustration? That just seems weird to me.

There is a small cave right near the Poké Mart.

Unfortunately, we can't go in there quite yet. Hey, maybe we can go in after we beat the Gym! The Gym Leader's name is Jonathan, and he's a Rock-type specialist. Rock-types are vulnerable to Ice, Grass, Water, and Ground-type Pokémon. Hey, my Weepinbell, Seadra, and Gabite would really wreck this dude's day. Let's go pay him a visit.

Oh. He's...busy at the moment. Hey, wait...isn't that...a Team Olympus goon?! My God, these guys are like cockroaches! What're they doing here?! What could they possibly be after in this place?! Well, there's one thing in town they might be interested in: The Psychic Tower.

Like Kariba Town for humans, the Psychic Tower is basically a big rest stop for Psychic-type Pokémon. It's a place where they can relax and recharge their powers. It does make sense that Olympus might be interested in it. There may be tons of Psychic Pokémon in that Tower. A lot of potential power The top floor of the Tower is closed off at the moment, but the rest of the Tower is still open.

And the area is infested with Team Olympus goons. It reminds me of Team Rocket taking over the Pokémon Tower in Lavender Town back in Red and Blue. I wonder if this is meant to be a homage. Anyway, the Tower is crawling with Team Olympus goons. However, they're not that tough. Most of them have only one Pokémon each. I'm not joking. I walked through most of them. You'd think that an evil organization like Team Olympus would make sure their goons had more than one Pokémon on them just in case.

To be fair, I liked that the goons had a nice variety of Pokémon on them. And fighting them allowed me to get some extra cash to upgrade my Secret Base.

Also, some of their dialogue is pretty funny. One claimed that he had a family to feed. And another joined purely for the health insurance.

Really makes you wonder, though. How bad are the legit businesses here that you have to turn to a criminal organization to get decent health insurance? I mean, there needs to be some reform here. Serious reform. Anyway, on the third floor, there's some activity going down.

These Team Olympus goons want to get up to the top floor, but the cop is like, "Nope." You see, a dangerous Pokémon has taken root at the top of the Tower, and going up may not be the safest thing to do right now.

(just sayin')

The salad-headed man in the lead is like "We know, Keystone Kop! That's why we're here! We want that Pokémon!" We learn the green-haired man is named Artemis, as another man tells him to back off and leave the guard alone. He's just doing his job after all. The man taunts him about not visiting the Gym. Evidently, Jonathan and Artemis were friends once. The man turns out to be Jonathan himself, and Artemis asks how he got out of prison early.

My theory is that Jonathan and Artemis were criminals together, and then they ended up in prison together where they fell out. Jonathan got out early thanks to good behavior. And in a surprisingly dark turn for a Pokémon game, it was hinted that Jonathan ended up in jail because of the murder of a family...including a six-year-old kid on their birthday.

Yeah. Here's the thing. The Pokémon franchise is no stranger that can be considered scary or fodder for a horror film. Heck, go read some Pokédex entries some time. I guarantee you, you think about some of them, you'll get a good scare. Implied dark stuff is nothing new to this franchise, but this is likely the most outright explicit dark stuff I've seen in a Pokémon game. You never see stuff like this in an official Pokémon game.

Artemis decides to take his leave, taunting Jonathan by saying that he'll tell his parole officer about their encounter. After all, threatening people would not make the Gym Leader look good in the eyes of his parole officer. Well, that just happened.

I think I'd better get back on track. As I said earlier, Jonathan is a Rock-type specialist. Rock is weak to Grass, Water, Fighting, Steel, and Ground. I can keep my Weepinbell, Seadra, and Gabite on the team, and they can be my three main weapons against him. I can also bring back out my Ivysaur and Diglett for this, as they're Grass/Poison and Ground-type, respectively. I have a lot of options here. Perhaps too many options, heh heh.

I went inside the gym, and...

...HOW IS THERE A SANDSTORM IN HERE?! SERIOUSLY! There's a sandstorm going in here! Did Jonathan leave the windows open?! Does he have some special-effects tech to do this?! Why does he have a sandstorm raging in this building?! He's bound to have violated a whole bunch of building codes by doing this! What is wrong with this guy?!

Anyway, I left the Gym to look over my Pokémon collection at the local Pokémon Center. I did notice that I didn't have a lot of Water-type Pokémon. I thought that maybe I didn't do any fishing, so I did a bit of backtracking. I went back to Route 308, hoping that maybe doing some fishing there would get some more Water-type Pokémon to fight Jonathan with. It was there that I found an item.

It's a Revive. A useful item in battle, as it can, well...revive a Pokémon that had fainted. Unfortunately, despite there being water at Route 308, I can't fish there. I tried several spots, but I could not fish. I kept getting a "Can't use that here" message. On the other hand, I did manage to beat some Trainers I missed on the way to Agassiz Town. Got some extra money and powered up my Seadra and Weepinbell a bit. It is a shame, as some more Water Pokémon would be great to catch here. Like, maybe wild Squirtles or something. Just a thought.

To take on Jonathan, I decided to bring in my Poliwag and Ivysaur. They can back up my Weepinbell and my Seadra.

With a new team of Pokémon to fight Jonathan, I need to train them up. I did consider getting a Trainer at my Secret Base. You can purchase a trainer to help grind up your Pokémon there, after all. However, he charges money for battle, so that option was out. That was a bit frustrating. So, I'll have to do it the old-fashioned way: Backtrack to Route 308. It wasn't too bad, though. Thanks to my bicycle, it was a quick trek. I love my bicycle.

Thankfully, Route 308 is filled with Ground and Rock-type Pokémon, so I had little trouble grinding up Poliwag and Ivysaur. In fact, it was kind of fun. One trainer on the route was named Ronald, and he was notable because his team comprised of Quilava, Croconaw, and Bayleef. They're the first  evolutions of the starter Pokémon of Generation II (Pokémon Gold and Silver). He lamented that he got them from Professor Elm after I beat him. ...how did he get all three starters from him? I also battled the trainers in Jonathan's gym.

The Gym itself is basically like a maze, with rocks in the way.

Thankfully, you don't need any special items to destroy the rocks. The path through the gym is like a maze. You have to go back and forth on the paths to get to the Gym Leader. As you go through the path and break the rocks, you have to battle the other trainers at the Gym. Get your Pokémon some extra experience on the way. One of the trainers there had a team of fossil-based Pokémon: Omanyte, Kabuto, and Lileep.

Once you make your way through the maze, you reach Jonathan himself. Make sure you get some supplies beforehand, like Potions and other healing items. Why? Well, Jonathan's gym has a sandstorm raging inside it somehow, and it will damage your Pokémon. Well, any non-Ground type ones at least. And with that, let's do this!

1st Pokémon: Rhyhorn (Lv. 27) - Defeated by Ivysaur with Sleep Powder/Razor Leaf combo.
2nd Pokémon: Onix (Lv. 27) - Jonathan used a Super Potion and a Hyper Potion on this Pokémon. Defeated by Ivysaur with Sleep Powder, Leech Seed, and Razor Leaf.
3rd Pokémon: Graveler (Lv. 28) - Defeated Ivysaur. Defeated by Poliwhirl with Bubblebeam.
4th Pokémon: Larvitar (Lv. 28) - Defeated Poliwhirl. Defeated by Weepinbell with Vine Whip.

Jonathan takes the loss very well. In fact, he seemed to be unbothered by it. He is thankful for the battle, as after that whole thing with Artemis, he needed to vent some frustration. He awards me my third badge: the Diamond Badge. It lets me use HM01 (Cut) outside of battle. And it will grant me access to the Fianga City Gym! And as is tradition, I also get a Technical Machine: TM80 (Rock Slide). Jonathan hopes we can battle again sometime. This was nice.

And I think that's where we'll stop for now. Next time, I plan to return to Fianga City to challenge the fourth Gym. Wish me luck! Thanks for reading this blog entry! If you liked it, spread it around! Take care of yourself and each other, stay safe, and remember to wash your hands often and go out only if you absolutely have to. See you next time!

Pokémon Obtainted:
Agassiz Town
- Surskit
Secret Base
- Dunsparce
Psychic Tower
- Solosis
- Hypno
- Elgyem
Route 308.5
- Poliwhirl (evolved from Poliwag)

NWA Powerrr Episode 18, My Thoughts

It's that time again! It's time to check in with the National Wrestling Alliance's weekly YouTube show! Let's take a look!

It's still amazing to see Sean Mooney on a wrestling show again.

Eh, not feeling the new theme song. "Into the Fire" was better.

I like to call Eli Drake and James Storm's tag team "The Drunks".

I'll bet Eli and James pounded twenty beers at minimum before filming this episode. And we're starting off with the action right away! A tag team match, with The Drunks joining commentary! Good choice having Eli do the talking, as Eli is the better talker in my opinion.

Match #1 - The Dawsons (with the Pope) vs. The Bouncers (with Eddie Kingston)

The Bouncers and the Dawsons are going to break the ring, aren't they?

Big meaty men slapping meat!

I'm surprised that powerbomb didn't break the ring!

Winners: The Bouncers

Eddie Kingston looks happy with that match result. And The Drunks using the Crockett Cup trophy as a beer stein was pretty funny.

Are we going to see Kamille wrestle in the future?

Quite a prediction there, Thom. Want to put money on it?

Match #2 - Thom Latimer vs. Tim Storm

Winner: Thom Latimer

First of all, there's a Momma Storm shirt? Second, "Fight your Mom" chants?

Is Question Mark speaking Mongrovian?

Match #3 - NWA TV Title Match - Ricky Starks (c) vs. Matt Cross

Winner: None, time ran out

This was a fun match. I was surprised by the timeout ending.

Yeah, Marti. You're totally not brainwashed. Not brainwashed at all.

Interesting to see Melina stepping back in the ring. Her entrance doesn't quite have the same impact without entrance music, if you ask me.

Match #4 - Melina vs. Tasha Steelz

Winner: Melina

An enjoyable match, not much to say about it.

Wait, Melina wants to battle Thunder Rosa for the Women's belt?! Yup, dissension in the Lethal Latinas!

Main event time!

Match #5 - Rock 'n' Roll Express vs. NWA Champion Nick Aldis/Royce Isaacs

How old are the Express, in their sixties? It's amazing they're still going after all these years.

Well, I admit, I was surprised to see Aldis and Isaacs teaming together here. You'd think that they'd have the Wild Cards together for this, being a tag team and all. I get the impression that they're trying to have the Cards go solo. I'm kind of mixed on it, as I feel we haven't gotten to see the Cards together in action a lot.

Winners: Aldis/Royce

Good main event match.

This was another fun episode. I can't wait for next week! Thanks for reading this blog entry! If you liked it, spread it around! See you next time! And remember to stay safe, take care of each other, wash your hands often and only go out if you absolutely have to.

Fantastic Four #234 (September 1981)

In the Marvel Universe, superhuman beings are a dime a dozen. Magic, mad science, mutation, radiation, it's not difficult for the ordinary to become extraordinary. Most of the time, when a person gains such power, their lives are upended in ways both small and big. During John Byrne's run on the Fantastic Four comic book in the 1980s, the writer/artist gave us a unique take on the tale. What if a man gained incredible power, the power that could rival a god...and was completely unaware of it? That's the tale we'll look at here in Fantastic Four #234!

The cover is pretty neat. It's a John Byrne, Terry Austin, and Gaspar Salandino piece. It depicts the Fantastic Four recoiling with a blank silhouette of a man. The FF are in yellow and the silhouette of the an is in white, contrasting against the plain red background. The cover asks the questions: "WHO is he? WHAT is he?" Well, we gotta read to find out, I guess. The cover promises that Marvel's First Family will face the Man...with the POWER. It's a bit misleading. You'll see what I mean.

"The Man with the Power!"
Writer: John Byrne
Penciler: John Byrne
Inker: John Byrne
Colorist: Bob Sharen
Letterer: Jean Simek
Editor: Jim Salicrup
Editor-in-Chief: Jim Shooter

The story begins with a look at a man waking up in his bedroom.

Say hello to L. R. "Skip" Collins. At first glance, he may seem like an ordinary man. And he is, in many ways. However, he may be the most powerful man to ever walk God's green earth. Skippy gets ready for another day at his job and he looks around at his messy bedroom. Skip is from a different time, and wishes that his wife Elly would clean the place up. He leaves the room, and the room magically cleans itself up, much to the surprise of his waking wife.

Skip is surprised the house is in a nice state, considering the party he and his neighbors had there last night, but he doesn't think much of it. He finds his youngest son Leroy Jr. in the kitchen, reading a girlie mag at the table. Skip tries to tell Junior to not do that, as it upsets Elly. However, he's basically like "Then she shouldn't look". This depresses Skip. All he wants is his son to make something of himself, or at least get his hair cut.

However, Junior's hair is still long and he's still grumbly. Maybe the power has its limits...or maybe Skip secretly desires not to exert too much control over his kids. Skip then goes to his ordinary garage, gets into his ordinary car, and goes to his ordinary job. For 18 years, he's taken a particular route to his job, and on this day, he runs into a traffic jam. This leads Skip to wish that he has left a half-hour earlier to avoid it. And like magic...it is a half-hour earlier.

Like with the bedroom cleaning itself, Skip doesn't notice. He's just relieved that he'll make it to work on time. You'd think he'd notice the traffic jam clearing itself up. Skip arrives at his job, but he finds that he left the keys to his office at home. He has a spare in the office, but that's not going to help. He laments that he didn't leave the door unlocked. After all, it's not like there's anything really valuable to steal, and the factory is guarded. Unnoticed by Skip, the spare key, as if empowered by magic, flies off its hook and unlocks the door. Skip thinks he left the door open after all.

Later in the day, Skip gets a visit from his boss, a Mr. Wilkins. He has a bit of a favor to ask of him. Wilkins has a business meeting in New York City on Monday morning. However, his daughter has a piano recital that afternoon, and he really does not want to miss it. So, he wants Skip to go in his place. I get the feeling that this is not ethical or legal. But Skip's excited. He gets to see the big city!

It's Saturday morning. Skip Collins is ridin' on a jet plane to New York City!

Skip notices a headline on the newspaper the passenger he's seated next to. The headline states that another GI is sick with leukemia, and the article is talking about a epidemic of illnesses in soldiers that were in nuclear tests. That gets our man's attention as he was one such soldier during his Army days back in 1955.

He was doing maneuvers with his unit in Nevada one fateful day. His troop had been given new orders: head out to the desert. Being good obedient soldiers, they did so. The soldiers were ordered to sit with their backs pointing northward and their hands over their eyes. The soldiers felt silly, but obeyed orders. A nuclear device went off, bathing the men in the radiation.

Over the next few weeks, the men were given every examination under the sun, Skip was no exception. Skip felt fine, but felt a strange buzzing in the back of his skull. He said nothing about that, as he thought it was no big deal. It had been 25 years since that day (remember, this comic is from 1981), and the buzzing is still there. He is long used to it.

He's always wanted to visit the City that Never Sleeps, and thanks to this business meeting, he finally gets to visit. Skip goes to see the sights, and like many tourists in the Marvel Universe, he makes his way to the Baxter Building, home of the Fantastic Four. Oh yeah, this was a Fantastic Four comic, huh? And speaking of the FF, our unknowing reality warper spots two of the comic's titular team out on the town.

A starstruck Skip follows them around until they happen upon a scene. A young girl was dared to go inside a condemned building due to be brought down today. She ended up on a ledge that is rather high up, and is too frightened to jump to the fireman. Reed Richards, using his stretching powers, is able to grab the girl as the ledge she is standing on collapses. The building itself goes a-tumbling down, but Sue Richards is able to keep it from crushing anyone with her forcefields.

Reed hurriedly orders her to clear the debris. Sue does so, but she wonders why Reed is so worried. He asks her if she felt a bit of vertigo before the building collapsed. She admits she did. The street starts to crumble and rumble. They see every building in the city is starting to come down. Skip was hoping to see the FF in action, but not like this!

We next head to Clancy's Irish Pub. The owner, Mick Clancy, is an old friend of Ben Grimm's. They were test pilots together. And speaking of the Thing, the Idol o' Million himself is enjoying a little drink at said pub. Like every other building in the city, the pub starts a-crumbling down on Ben and Mick's heads. Luckily, the Thing's rocky body ensures he and Mick make it through okay. Ben is horrified by the scene.

Where is Johnny at, you ask? Well, he was at the apartment of his then-main squeeze: One Frankie Raye. She had been part of the Fantastic Four's supporting cast for several years at this point, having first appeared in Fantastic Four #164 (November 1975), co-created by Roy Thomas and George Perez. Frankie and Johnny's (Heh) relationship has been on the rocks, and Johnny is trying to win her back. When they're about to kiss, the building starts to crumble to dust. Johnny flames on and manages to save her and the other tenants of the building. He then heads back to the Baxter Building, the only building that seemingly survived the destruction. Unnoticed by the Human Torch is Skip Collins, who laments the situation.

At the Baxter Building, the FF learn that this phenomenon is far from local. It's hit everywhere. Washington, DC got hit. Paris and London are in flames. Moscow is now just a big pile of rubble.
Even the West Coast of the US has gone silent. It's like some sinister force is attacking the planet all at once.

Reed already has some ideas as to what's caused this, and sends the rest of the Four to help out where they can.

Skip watches Sue, Ben, and Johnny fly off and it makes him feel helpless. Skip is a good man, and he wishes he could help out. Almost as if the cosmos heard his wish, the man vanishes.

The FF go where they can to help. At the Brooklyn Bridge, the Thing is trying to keep the landmark from utterly collapsing. It's not that easy as there's a freighter snagged in it, and the riverbed has appeared to have given way. Ben is the only thing keeping the bridge up. He then notices Skip on the bridge. At this moment, the freighter is able to get clear of the bridge. A piece of the bridge's stone framework breaks away, and smashes into Skip.

Yup, that'll hurt.

Ben dives into the water. He finds the piece of bridge that pulverized Skip...but Skip's body is missing. The Thing is forced to surface, but sees a flare in the shape of a "4" in the sky. Reed's a-calling. Reed has discovered that the destruction was caused by something out in space using waves of gravity as a probe. New York City was hit the hardest because the probe was focused on him. It could be a possible prelude to an attack from outer space.

A somehow-hale and hearty Skip watches the Fantastic Four's rocket take off from the Baxter Building. This breaks the man's heart, as he believes the Earth is doomed. If the FF couldn't save them, what hope is there? This disaster...should never have happened. And Skip's power...grants his wish.

Skip's strange power not just fixes the damage, but brings things back the way they were before the gravity waves wrecked everything. In a now-restored New York, a confused Skip finds himself standing on a dock, wondering how he got there. He looks at his watch, and gasps at the time. He's got tickets to a Broadway show, and he's going to be late! He's gotta find a taxi! Skip heads out to hail a cab, the strange buzzing in his head now gone. Although he doesn't really notice.

Out in space, the Fantastic Four are flying out to the source of the gravity waves. They pass into a field full of remnants of destroyed planets. The group discover a gigantic cloud of gas. Reed believes that cloud is the source, so the group head into it.

Inside the cloud, they find massive vine-like tendrils...and they look like they're decaying. Reed states they are inside a bio-verse. A clearly dying one. The rocket is pulled by gravity towards something, and they'll be clear of the cloud. However, when they do get clear...the FF discover where they are.

You may know of Ego the Living Planet if you ever watched Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, portrayed by Kurt Russell. That's right, he's come to Earth to pursue an unknown enemy of his, and he's willing to destroy Earth to get them!

This comic was really good. We have seen many a story of regular people gaining superpowers and dealing with the changes in their lives as a result. The idea of someone gaining godlike power and not even being aware of it is a great twist on the concept. It's neat seeing Skip go through his life not realizing that he has the power of a god, and being a man who unknowingly helped save the world. I can imagine this may happen in the Marvel Universe more than people realize.

The only thing that I could regard as having any real criticism is that Skip seems a bit too oblivious. I do get that Byrne is trying to show that he's not an imaginative man who desires anonymity and to just live like a regular Joe, but you'd think that he would notice some of the odd stuff going on around him, especially since he lives in a world like the Marvel Universe. Also, I would have liked to have seen some other superheroes react to the utter destruction of New York. After all, the City that Never Sleeps has many superheroes active in it.

John Byrne turns in some very fine artwork for this story. The layouts, in my opinion, help give the comic a bit of a cinematic feel to it, which fits a story about the utter destruction of an entire city. Byrne uses panel size to great effect for this. The narration in the comic does feel a bit Claremont-esque, but that's likely an influence from his and Chris Claremont's work on X-Men together.

This comic, early in the run, is a preview of the imagination that John Byrne would bring to the story. If you want to read this story for yourself, I recommend tracking down the 2009 trade paperback Fantastic Four Visionaries: John Byrne Vol. 1. Thanks for reading this blog entry! If you liked it, spread it around! Join me next time, where we join the Justice League as they deal with a group of anti-nuke superheroes from another world...

Wonder Woman #214 (November 1974)

It's that time again! It's time to join the Amazing Amazon known as Wonder Woman as she undergoes her Twelve Trials to rejoin the Justice League! Back in January, Superman regaled us of her first trial, where she battled the Batman villain Cavalier and his army of hypnotized women. In February, the Flash told the tale of her second trial, in which she joined forces with an anti-war protestor and a gangster to battle a robot that ended all conflict.

These two were...pretty stupid. They felt like first drafts to me. But hey, let's be optimistic. There's still ten other trials left. Maybe things will improve. So, let's join the Emerald Gladiator, the Green Lantern, as he tells the tale of Wonder Woman's third trial. Appropriate that we look at this comic in March, considering this month has St. Patrick's Day, and well...Green Lantern. Let's take a look at Wonder Woman #214!

The cover is rather interesting. It's a Bob Oksner piece, and it depicts Green Lantern standing in front of an image of Wonder Woman trying to lasso a bomb-dropping plane. Can she prevent it from blowing Moscow into borscht? We also see two smaller images. One is of a Golden Age-styled Wonder Woman standing in front of a wanted poster of her that's being shot at. There's Sotrmtrooper aiming, and then there's this. The second image shows Wondy trying to strangle a dragon with a tree. That dragon was peeking in on her while changing. It deserves what it gets.

The comic promises 100 pages for only 60 cents! However, most of these stories are reprints of older Wonder Woman tales. The trial is the only "new" story in this comic, and it's the one we're going to look at here. Also, it's the only tale in the trade collection. So there's that.

"Wish Upon a Star!"
Writer: Elliot S! Maggin
Penciler: Curt Swan
Inker: Frank Giacola
Letterer: Unknown
Colorist: Unknown
Editor: Unknown

The story begins with Hal Jordan, the Silver Age Green Lantern, flying to the Justice League Satellite. He's come to report in on Wonder Woman's third labor. Hal had been charging his ring when his power battery flashed like it had shorted out. This worries Hal, as he needs the battery to keep his ring working. However, the Power Battery is an advanced piece of technology, and it would take something really extraordinary to mess with it.

Using his ring, Hal tracks the source of the strange disturbance to New York City. Wonder Woman's been working there as part of the United Nations' Crisis Bureau. It's there he finds the Amazing Amazon taking to a man named Lord Rosewater. She's recommending this new restaurant to him called Hank's Pub. It's an English-style restaurant with a Henry VIII-theme. The owner is even named Henry Tudor. I imagine that wasn't his birth surname.

Lord Rosewater is excited, as he is hoping to enjoy some good British food. Eh, I like a good bacon butty myself. Hal follows them to the restaurant.

Mr. Tudor himself is wearing an amulet, and it's emitting a slight glow in Diana's presence. He tells Diana that she is his millionth guest. Now I know what you're thinking: "Wait a minute, isn't this a new restaurant? How could he have had a million guests already?" Well, it's simple: he can't count. Tudor invites Diana and Lord Rosewater to a feast as his guests. Meanwhile, Hal sneaks in and poses as a waiter.

In his report, Hal reveals that the amulet around Henry's neck was actually a magical Celtic trinket. He bought it off of an Roma woman in Coney Island a year earlier. He opened up Hank's Pub a short time later. However, despite the unique theme, the bar was not doing so well. He ended up in debt, and he needed cash. He remembers that the Roma woman told him that when his trinket is in the presence of a "sister amulet", the wishes of the amulet holders will come true...a fat lot of good that does him right now.

Henry's luck changed when Diana arrived. She had complimented him on the duck roast and said she wished he had some ducks...for some reason. Henry sees the landlord of his pub coming and wishes that he could be delayed. And as if fate had granted his desire, the landlord got hit by a truck...a truck carrying a duck order. It was also at that moment that Hal's Power Battery had acted up. Wonder Woman grabbed the landlord and took his to the hospital. This surprises Tudor and gets him to thinking. Maybe the old Roma woman wasn't talking nonsense. After all, it is the DC Universe.

This weird turn of events convinces him that Diana may have the "sister amulet" to his. Back in the present, Tudor presents a cake to Diana and Lord Rosewater to a celebratory cake, where he invites her to blow out the candle and make a wish. To test out his theory, he makes a wish of his own: To be King of the World. Wow, jumping into the whole "world domination" thing already, Hank?

It makes Hal's ring act up, forcing him to remove it and put it in his pocket. Lord Rosewater gets a message from his...beeper. Yeah, he has a pager. In 1974. I'm not kidding! I thought pagers were a thing in the 90s! Well, to be fair, pagers were developed in the 1950s and 60s, but it blows my mind that someone in 1974 would have a pager like we think of them. At that moment, some events occurred all over Earth.

In Omaha, Nebraska, the US military loses contact with a bomber. The plane flies into the borders of the Soviet Union. The JLA is unaware of this thinks to their satellite's systems being messed with it. Green Arrow, who was on monitor duty at the time, grumbles that alien gadgetry shouldn't be trusted. Lord Rosewater and Diana head back to the Crisis Bureau, with Diana taking her Invisible Jet there.

At the UN, Diana listens in the crisis. A bomber with two nuclear warheads in it is on its way to Moscow, there's no way to stop it. If those warheads hit, the USSR has an automatic system for retaliation...and there's no way to stop that. Did...did Diana just stumble into Dr. Strangelove?!

Diana, if a man named General Ripper asks about your "precious bodily fluids", run. Run as a fast as you can. He is not a well man. So, what's going on with Mr. Tudor? Well, he's on his way to the bank to get some money to pay his rent. He's taken to the bank's new safety deposit box vault. A vault that is bomb-proof. A tremor erupts that traps him inside the vault. The vault has a time-lock system, so he's trapped for the next seven hours.

Wondy's invisible plane races through the sky, trying to reach the bomber. She catches the plane with her magic lasso, and decides now is a good time to practice her tightrope act.

The crew of the bomber spot the Amazing Amazon, and the gunner opens fire on her. Uh, fellas? If Wonder Woman is walking towards your plane using her lasso as a tightrope, she may be trying to tell you something!

She's able to sneak onto the plane, but Diana finds herself caught in the plane's...unique security system.

Wait, was this plane's security system specially designed for her in mind? Wonder Woman fears she has lost her powers, as back in the Silver Age, if she is shackled by a man, she loses her powers. Thing is...were the people of this plane expecting her? She explains to the crew the big situation, and they agree to not drop the bombs...until the bombs are dropped. Whoops. Welp, World War III is here, it was nice knowing y'all! Try not to get mutated too badly out there!

Wait, there's still hope! Diana leaps out of the plane after the bombs. She coils her magic lasso around the giant bringers of nuclear destruction, and then squeezes the bombs with the lasso until they blow.

"Now she's radioactive! That can't be good!"

With that crisis over, Hal's ring is working again. As well as all the communications equipment. He also was able to find King Henry Tudor. Tudor's wish to be king of the world accidentally became true. In that vault, he would have survived an apocalypse. What did Diana wish for? Well, Hal doesn't know. He imagines she wished to return to the League. As far as the Emerald Gladiator is concerned, she's earned it. The story ends with him flying out of the League satellite.

This issue was...well, like the others, kind of stupid. The story felt like a first draft in places. Particularly with Tudor's amulet. The whole thing with the amulet requiring a "sister" amulet felt needless, just a pointless addition. I felt that there was some missed opportunity to pay homage to Dr. Strangelove with this story. The film did come out a few years before this comic, after all. There could have been a real opportunity to do some commentary on the Cold War, but it was missed. Diana doing the tightrope walk was pretty awesome, though.

Tudor isn't really much of a supervillain, though. I think it would have been better if he was portrayed as just a man who went in over his head. Would fit Wonder Woman. His dressing up as the English king was pretty funny. Curt Swan again turns in some fine art. It's neat seeing him on a non-Superman DC book, as he has considered THE Superman artist at the time. His art is really one of the few good things about this comic.

If you want to read this for yourself, I do recommend hunting down the 2012 trade paperback Wonder Woman: The Twelve Labors. Thanks for reading this blog entry! If you liked it, spread it around! Join me next time, where we look at the tale of a man...with the POWER...