Wonder Woman #215 (January 1975)

It's that time again! Time to join the Amazing Amazon, Wonder Woman, as she undergoes another one of her Twelve Labors! Over the last three months, we saw the Amazing Amazon's adventures being monitored by the Justice League as she wanted to prove she was worthy of rejoining the League. This time, she's monitored by the Sea King, Aquaman. And appropriately enough, Wonder Woman's latest labor involves her dealing with a potential war between her and Arthur's people. Can she stop this tragedy from happening? Let's take a look at Wonder Woman #215!

The cover is...interesting. It's a Bob Oksner piece, depicting Mars, the Roman God of War, dragging Wonder Woman out of the water by her hair like he's a stereotypical caveman. That's not how you fish, buddy. Aquaman is just standing there looking like a bad actor in a play. It's funny that he's also depicted showing the scene like it's on a screen or it's a poster. He asks what can two superheroes do against a god?

"Amazon Attack Against Atlantis!"
Writer: Cary Bates
Penciler: John Rosenberger
Inker: Vince Colletta
Colorist: Unknown
Letterer: Unknown
Editor: Julius Schwartz

The story begins on board the Justice League Satellite. The Justice League is holding a special hearing for a unique criminal. One who is not a man, even though he looks like one. He is not an extraterrestrial, as Earth is his homeworld...in a sense. Wonder Woman is in the role of prosecutor, and she just gave her testimony, one that she hopes will prove this being is guilty of the crimes he has been accused of.

The man claims that this hearing is unfair. It's his word against hers, and since Wonder Woman is a Justice Leaguer, they'll automatically be biased in her favor. Aquaman stands up, saying he can verify the Amazon Princess's story. He points out that the accused was unaware that Diana has spent the last few months being observed by members of the League as she underwent her metaphorical "twelve labors" to prove that she was worthy of rejoining the team. Her character has been proven by Superman, the Flash, and Green Lantern.

This time, Arthur Curry has been observing her as she underwent her fourth trial, and he intends to show that Diana's testimony is accurate. The accused is a liar, and he's going to show that. Flashback time!

Three days earlier, the King of the Seas was swimming up New York City's East River to meet Diana at the UN Crisis Bureau. While there, he laments about the level of pollution in the water.

He notices the Amazing Amazon gliding overhead to deal with a waterspout that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Despite the spout smacking Diana and dragging her in the water, she's able to deal with it by using her lasso to spin the clockwise-rotating waterspout in the opposite direction.

Since he wasn't needed to help after all, Arthur continues on his way. Unbeknownst to either of the heroes, an shimmering human shape was left in the waterspouts wake. Diana heads back to meet her boss, Morgan Tracy, at the Crisis Bureau. He wants her to join him at a dinner he's having with a diplomat. He needs the moral support because said diplomat is not in the best of moods. Getting rotten fruit thrown at you will do that.

While on the way, Diana thinks about her own troubles. She hasn't been able to contact her fellow Amazons in Themyscira (or "Paradise Island", as it was called at the time) lately on her mental radio. Maybe they're doing maintenance on their end, she thinks. A shrouded figure hides in a nearby alley, and causes a group of dogs to become an angry large wolfpack, siccing them on Diana and Morgan.

Diana is able to use some martial arts to take the dogs down without exposing her secret identity. Aquaman was observing this in civilian clothing, when he finds himself talking to a strange old man.

The old man surmises Diana and Wonder Woman are the same person. Arthur tries to convince him otherwise. Meanwhile, the attacking dogs mysteriously turned back to normal. At that moment, Arthur received an aquatic SOS about a problem in the Atlantic Ocean. But before Arthur could learn more, the accused his powers to mess with the fish, rendering them unable to communicate.

Back in her apartment, Diana trying to contact her fellow Amazons, but is having no luck. This got her worried. Maybe something bad is going down on Themyscira. Arthur is observing her leave when he starts feeling weak. You see, in the Silver and Bronze Ages, Aquaman needed to keep contact with water every hour or else he'd...well...die. Yeah. He spots a fountain. You know Artie, keeping a few water bottles handy would have been helpful for you here.

Arthur goes to splash his face, but the accused turns the water to oil. The oil catches the robot plane, and then turns to coal, trapping it. Wonder Woman uses her Herculean strength to rip the coal pile off the fountain and take it high in the sky. The coal pile shatters thanks to the cold of the stratosphere, and Diana heads back on her way. Back on the ground, Arthur is dying, and he's attracting a small crowd. In one last act of desperation, he kicks a soda bottle out of a boy's hand. The soda spills over him. It's not water, but it is able to restore some of his strength. And he gave the kid a dollar for his drink. It was 1975.

Meanwhile, Wonder Woman flies on towards Themyscira. But she discovers exactly why she hasn't been able to contact them.

The island has gone the way of the dodo. It's vanished, disappeared, vamoosed, gone bye-bye. Keep in mind, it was only recently that the Amazons themselves pulled a disappearing act. Read my review of Wonder Woman #212 (July 1974) to learn more. Meanwhile, in New York, Aquaman is alerted to something by a fish in the sewers. Must be one tough and brave fish to go through the New York City sewer system, with all the crocodiles.

It's the DC Universe, there likely would be crocodiles in the New York City sewers. Meanwhile, the Greek Goddess Hera has pointed out to Wondy where the then-Paradise Island is located. All she has to do is follow not the Yellow Brick Road, but the Red Watery Path. Aquaman heads back up to Atlantis, and finds a surprise.

"Hi ho, hi ho, It's off to war we go!"

The Atlanteans are gearing up for war. And they have brought their indestructible legs. Why are they gearing up for war? Well, evidently Themyscira has placed itself right above Atlantis, and the Amazons are on the attack. Hey, wait...I just realized something. The 2011 crossover Flashpoint created an alternate world that had a war between the Amazons and Atlantis. Could...could that have been inspired by this comic?

Anyway, Diana pleads with her mother Hippolyta to stop the attack. However, the Amazon queen's got out her lucky mace, and she wants to bash some brains with it. Diana tries to use her magic lasso to calm her mother, but it's no use. But what could make the Amazons so aggressive? So bloodthirsty that even the magic lasso can't calm them? Well, it's not a what, but a who.

"FE FI FO FON, I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN AMAZON!"

Say hello to Mars, everybody! And I'm not talking about the candy bar, I'm talking about the Roman god of war. And in case you're wondering, this is the being undergoing the hearing that Wonder Woman is prosecuting. Mars claims the story is bull as Wonder Woman was the only Justice League member that was actually there. As far as Mars knows, Aquaman was nowhere around, so he couldn't possibly have known about this. However, Arthur was there. In the waters near Themyscira, but he was there. The King of the Seas produces a small aquarium that contains a lungfish in it. He claims this species of lungfish can repeat words it hears like a parrot. Yeah, I looked it up, and lungfish can't do that.

The lungfish repeats Mars's words. Mars was the one who kept the fish in the Atlantic Ocean from alerting Arthur. You'd think Neptune would not be happy with Mars messing with denizens of his domain, Neptune being the Roman sea god and all. He was also the reason why Wonder Woman was being attacked by the waterspout and the dogs. Diana wonders why Mars is trying to start a war between the Amazons and Atlantis. It's 1975! The Cold War is a thing! Well, Mars is hungry.

He's seen wars from Trojan to Vietnam. Vietnam was long and bloody, but conventional warfare has started to bore him. Ater all, he's seen thousands of years of it. He then basically thought, "Hey, those Amazons are pretty tough, and so are those Atlanteans. I'll have them duke it out! They've never fought each other before! Something different and exciting!" Yup, all this bloodshed because the God of War is freakin' bored and hungry. Get a hobby and a Snickers, man!

Arthur observes the two armies about to face off. Wonder Woman has a plan. She has Arthur summon some whales to play barrier between the two armies. Yeah, because a bunch of blood-crazed warrior women and fish people are totally not going to hack through those whales to get their hands on each other! While this is going down, Wonder Woman engages Mars in combat. The gigantic god is able to get a grip on the Amazon, but he starts to shrink. Mars is confused. The war should be replenishing his power. What's going on?

Well, since Aquaman stopped the war, Mars ran out of power. And now in his weakened state, it's easy for Wonder Woman to nail him with a Mighty Judo Chop.

With that, the spell is broken, the Amazons and Atlanteans are back to normal, and some whales may have been killed. The League finds Mars guilty, and he sentences them to an interplanetary prison. The planet is unnamed, but I like to imagine it's Takron-Galtos, the prison planet from the Legion of Super-Heroes mythos.

This was...likely one of the better stories we got so far. But honestly, out of all the Labors we've seen so far, I feel this story had the most potential to be really good. Think about it, Diana and Arthur racing to stop the God of War from trying to cause a war between their two nations? There's potential there! A real political thriller of a story here! A shame, really.

The strongest thing about this issue was the artwork. John Rosenberger is a name that is new to me, and his artwork has a bit of a cartoony style to it in my opinion. His rendition of Wonder Woman is gorgeous and his Aquaman is quite handsome, a holdover form his days doing romance comics for DC in the 1960s. Sadly, Rosenberger died of cancer in 1977. He is most-known at DC for co-creating (alongside Robert Kanigher) Liza Warner, aka Lady Cop. She who would appear in the Arrow television series (portrayed by Rutina Wesley) as a member of an anti-vigilante task force that went rogue. He's a good artist, and I felt he was a bit wasted here.

If you really want to read this for yourself, as I said before, track down the 2012 trade paperback Wonder Woman: The Twelve Labors. Thanks for reading this blog entry! If you liked it, tell your friends! Stay safe, stay healthy, wash your hands often, and take care of yourself and each other! Join me next time, when I take a look at a comic from my favorite era of the Avengers...