Marvel Super Heroes: Secret Wars #2 (June 1984)

Last month, I started a journey through one of Marvel's first big events: Secret Wars. Now this month, we're going to go through the second issue. Last time, we left off with the not-quite-united heroes being ambushed by the gathered villains. So, how will the heroes handle this? Let's find out in Marvel Super Heroes: Secret Wars #2!

The cover, a Mike Zeck piece, is alright. It's Magneto posing with a bunch of heroes' heads around him. Magneto's pose is kind of amusing. I know it's supposed to look menacing, but to me, it looks like he's frustrated that he has to wait in line. "I am MAGNETO! The express lane is for 12 items or less! YOU BROUGHT THIRTEEN!" Also, I think all the heroes are supposed to be looking at him, but I can't help but think the eye lines are kind of...wonky.

"Prisoners of War!"
Writer: Jim Shooter
Penciler: Mike Zeck
Inker: John Beatty
Colorist: Christie Scheele
Letterer: Joe Rosen
Editor: Tom DeFalco
Editor-in-Chief: Jim Shooter

The story begins with the heroes reacting to the villains' attack.

"My GOD! Half off chicken poppers at the supermarket!"

The villains' initial attack manages to kayo Colossus. Captain America orders the heroes to attack the mech blasting them. The heroes are forced on the defensive, thanks to the weaponry they found. Meanwhile, Doctor Doom is flying around a few dozen miles away, his mind going over the events of the previous issue. He manages to find the unconscious Galactus.

He's just pining for the cosmic fjords...

The World-Eater literally rises to his feet and walks off. Doctor Doom tries to talk to the big guy, but he doesn't really care about Doctor Doom. The Latverian tyrant finds his way back to the villains' fortress, deciding to go and do his own thing. You'd think Doom would leap at any chance to kill Reed Richards, but I'm guessing here it's because the Beyonder wants the heroes and villains to fight each other, and Doom's ego can't stand the idea of him being ordered to kill Reed. If he's going to kill Richards, he's going to do it on his own time, dagnabit!

He walks his way through the fortress's defenses, and finds the inert body of Ultron.

"Richards thinks he's so great with his HERBIE?! BAH! Doom'll show HIM!"

He figures, "Hey, Doom can use this", and makes some plans. I imagine he's going to program it to curse out Reed Richards. A lot. Meanwhile, the Hulk is able to take down the mech Bulldozer and Piledriver were using. She-Hulk engages the Enchantress, and the Asgardians' blonde bombshell eats a gamma-powered Mighty Punch. The battle ends with the villains scattering, and the heroes having some prisoners: The Enchantress and three of the Wrecking Crew.

Storm scouts around to find shelter for the heroes. She notes as she flies that the air on this world is thick, but easy for her powers to work with. It's almost like the Beyonder is providing ideal conditions for battle or something. Eventually, their quest for shelter ends in success.

Four bedrooms, four bathrooms, indoor swimming pool, arcade, and Jacuzzi, this place has everything!

We can assume the Beyonder made this. The heroes start to explore the big complex, but Colossus notices Lockheed the Dragon is missing. Mr. Fantastic finds a detention area to put the Wrecking Crew in for now, and a regenerative device to put the Enchantress in. She took a heck of a Mighty Punch from She-Hulk, so there may have been side effects despite her Asgardian physiology (Asgardians are naturally stronger and more durable than humans). Cap gathers the heroes together. He has Iron Man, Thor, and the Human Torch patrol the area around the complex. The other heroes will keep watch, while he goes to find anything resembling a mess hall and quarters in this place.

Meanwhile, another structure is seen hundreds of miles away.

"Frank Lloyd Wright said I was MAD! MAD, I tell you! Well WHO'S MAD NOW, FRANKIE?!"

This is Magneto's private quarters. Makes sense it looks like a giant magnet. Gotta keep true to the brand, after all. He's staring out at the horizon, contemplating the situation. Hours later, Absorbing Man, Wrecker, Doctor Octopus, and Molecule Man are returning to their complex, where Doom is waiting for them. The villains get belligerent (except for Molecule Man of course), and Doom uses Ultron to blast them. Evidently, Doom reprogrammed the ruthless robot to be his personal drone.

Doom acts chummy with Molecule Man, which makes sense. Reece has his issues, but he's the most powerful being in the villains' ranks. It's wise not to anger him. Doc Ock wants to know what Doom is up to, and where Galactus went off to. Doom shows a screen that reveals that Galactus is standing on a mountain 4,000 miles away, doing...who knows what. Doom then assures Ock that his plans will result in victory for the villains, but Ock is not so convinced. The four-armed mad scientist thinks Doom's got bigger ideas in mind than just winning the Beyonder's contest...and whether it will get them all killed before or after he achieves them.

Night falls, and the heroes are slumbering in their complex. However, Magneto is able to sneak in, using his powers to disable the defenses. Meanwhile, She-Hulk and Wasp discuss their issues. They're both feeling a bit of nerves about this whole thing. Magneto flies on, where he finds the power core of the complex.

Elsewhere, Reed Richards and Scott Summers are doing some talking themselves. Scott reveals that he was on his honeymoon [Remember, he had married Madelyne Pryor in Uncanny X-Men #175 (November 1983)], but he's now here in costume. Reed notices that Professor X is in his wheelchair, despite his being able to walk again. He theorizes the Beyonder had been "fixing" things. Cyclops grumbles about how unfair it is that he got dragged into this whole thing. The two talk about their wives, not knowing that Ben Grimm is taking a stroll nearby. The Thing overhears them, and feels morose. Their conversation reminds him of his main squeeze Alicia Masters. Maybe it's for the best that Alicia might never see him again. You see, Ben had been reconsidering their relationship over the events of Thing #2-10 (August 1983-April 1984). It's been a regular problem for poor Ben, feeling his monsterous appearance makes him unworthy of Alicia, despite her having no issue with it.

Magneto futzes around with the power generator. Meanwhile, another pair of heroes are conversing: Spider-Man and the Human Torch. Spidey is worried that the group will never get home, but Johnny isn't too fussed about it. After all, the FF have been in situations like this before, and they always found their way back to Earth. Spidey's Spider-Sense goes nuts, and the Web-Slinger goes to check it out, Johnny going to get some help. Back up arrives, and sees Spidey roll away as a metal-covered tumbleweed. They engage Magneto, but it doesn't go well.

"EAT...THESE THINGS! What ARE these things?!"

Magneto tries to flee, but the Wasp frees herself from the debris and goes after the Master of Magnetism. However, the mad mutant is able to capture Wasp in some more debris. He figures he can use her as a hostage. Ben Grimm, the Thing, tries to go after Magneto himself, but something strange happens.

What did Ben drink last night?!

He changes back into his human form, much to his surprise and delight. In Fantastic Four #245 (August 1982), Reed Richards theorized that Ben may have always been able to change back to human form, but was prevent by a mental block caused by his anxiety over his relationship with Alicia Masters. I always liked this idea, as there's a bit of a tragic irony to it. Monica Rambeau notices none of the X-Men came to help them deal with Magneto. It's pretty odd. Why would the X-Men not help battle Magneto? He's their biggest nemesis. As far as Cap is concerned, they have other problems. And Magneto is nothing compared to them.

We're going to need more snacks. We're going to be here a while...

This issue...was pretty good. We get a bit more character stuff here than the last issue. I liked the scenes with Peter and Johnny and Scott and Reed. Peter and Johnny hanging out makes sense, as the two have been depicted as friends for a long time. Also, the scene with Reed and Scott was great, Scott being a newlywed at the time, and Reed being a married man for a long time. I would have loved to have seen Scott ask Reed for some advice on marriage.

The villains crumbling and plotting makes sense, in a way. Doom's ego would make it difficult for him to collaborate with others. Not to mention Doc Ock and his own ego. They're going to clash.

I did wish Jennifer and Janet got a bit more time. I felt they didn't get as much as the guys did. Also, the X-Men's absence in the fight against Magneto is bizarre. As I said earlier, Magneto is arguably the X-Men's biggest enemy. I doubt they would sit out any opportunity to stop him if they could. I get what they're going for here, but I feel this could have been done better.

Next time, we're going to return to my favorite era of Avengers, as we look at the first appearance of two young newbies...